"Merry Christmas" Defines Us?

In one of my other blogs (xanga), I was just responding to a friendly critique of my previous post. The comment was made...

Just to throw some "fuel on the fire" and allow me to play devil's
advocate; is this really an "either/or" thing? Can our zeal not be about the
issues of servanthood, social justice and "reclaiming christian territory"
through the protection of tradition? Does tradition have no place in the life of
a Christ follower?
I believe whole-heartedly in servanthood (I couldn't call
myself a "Christian" and not serve.) and I have long been a proponent of social
causes (that's partly the reason for my degree in psychology and the length of
service in Children Services. I believe that the church should be the first line
in addressing issues of social concern and welfare, NOT "the government" but, at
the same time, I believe we just might have a duty to hold to that which defines
us within culture...
Is nothing sacred? Is everything secular? Should there
be no line between the two. What defines them if not our approach to the
particulars??

I don't see a lot of examples in the Scripture where Christ was willing to fight a battle over words and "traditional" sentiment (merry christmas). We won't know Christians by..."they're the ones who buck the system and say Merry Christmas" but because of their love for one another and their redemptive presence in the community.

This whole Pennsylvania case over intelligent design is a biggie too. Why do we need to have our view of God, creation, and intelligent design validated by curriculum boards and legislatures? Can't we be Kingdom-minded and affirm the truth of what is already taught (not necessarily validating it completely mind you) and use that as the starting point for leading others towards ultimate Truth?

On the other hand...I'm not too thrilled that my first grader can cut, paste, color, and learn all about Hannukah...but not be allowed to appreciate or learn about Christian traditions of celebrating Christmas simultaneously. That's problematic for me.

The Holy War of Words Is On

I was just reading a friends blog as he ripped into a beautiful rant against James Dobson and a variety of other topics. I won't point you to his exact words since I did not ask permission, but he stirred my mind a bit more on some of these topics over which I've been stewing for several weeks. And it has to do with the way in which a great many Christians are responding to the anti-"Merry Christmas" crowd.

Don't get me totally wrong here (I guess I added that for all my Dobson-loving friends and family memebers) ...I can appreciate a small amount of the zeal with which some Christians are crusading (intentional negative connotation) against the "Happy Holidays" agenda. But the more I think about it, the more stirred up I become and want to say "what do you expect?" Does anyone honestly believe that Christ is the focus of Christmas in America?! And he has not been the focus for a very long time...if ever. Even in my own family, we attend services...adore the nativity scenes...and pre-empt our gift-opening orgy with a reading of the Christmas story...but does that Christianize all the materialism and self-centered behavior we call the Christmas season?

If we're going to reclaim some "christian" territory...let it have less to do semantics and more to do with servanthood and social justice. Do you think fighting this battle over Christmas greetings is going to make a positive and eternal impact on our communities for the Kingdom? Really?! It's time for the church to reclaim a biblical agenda and not a self-serving agenda.

Community of Thin Spots

In a Celtic understanding of spirituality, there exists "thin spots" which offer the greatest potential for experiencing the Divine. Celtic Christians adopted this understanding which can be seen in the many stone crosses and the location of abbeys near the mountains or the sea. These were seen as the "thin spots" where the barrier between natural and spiritual realms were thinnest. Another way in which the Celtic Christians worked out this concept was in the formation of monastic communities. These communities became centers of spiritual formation, education, prayer, and ministry.

I am currently attempting to define the concept of biblical community and re-imagine what it might look like in the lives of middle and high school students. A difficulty I'm finding in this process however is the intangible and ambiguous nature of community. I want to define it in terms of our relationships. But we experience varying levels of community within our interactions with others. And as I read Bonhoeffer's Life Together, I'm cautioned by his caveat that Christian community is completely based on our common experience of God's grace in and through Jesus Christ. His caution is especially not to expect too much from community or make it into something that is more social than spiritual (like warm fuzzies I suppose).

Why is this such a difficult concept to grasp and explain? Could it be that I've only had fleeting glimpses and experiences of true biblical community? That I don't even understand it from personal experience or present immersion? A part of me is somewhat timid about pushing this idea to its ultimate conclusion I must admit. I think to seriously live Life Together and teach others to do the same could mean a complete and radical interpretation of what youth ministry looks like. But I'm simultaneously intrigued with that thought...since one of the fears I have is that without a major change of paradigm, the present "machine" of youth ministry will just continue to produce idividualistic, isolated, consumer-minded Christians who continue to be in motion without meaning.

I'd love to hear some more thoughts on community...what it is? ...what it isn't? ...what it might look like at various stages of life and development?

Blogesthesia

I find myself anestetized and somewhat cynical as I read blogs and determine whether or not there's anything substantive for me to say today. That little piece of information will explain the infrequency of my posts and comments of late. It is very unfortunate since I am currently immersed in a few personal and ministerial struggles. These predicaments are quite unrelated, but I think we all know how emotional stress, physical fatigue, and spiritual dismay can overlap and compound one another.

One of the problems I am all too aware of is my need to unplug from the matrix of ministry for a few days and retreat. So weather permitting (or not permitting) I plan to lightly load the Gregory pack and take off on a few trails for a couple of days next week. Just the thought of the experience and anticipated solitude brings a surge of endorphins to my system. Hopefully I will have something worth sharing soon.

For those who would...please pray for a personal matter which is crushing us in several ways. We desperately need our house in Columbus to sell or for some amicable financial solution to present itself. Thank you!

What Would Jesus Cut?

In a weekly e-zine article I receive from www.sojo.net Jim Wallis includes this statement:

"Budgets are moral documents, and they reflect our national priorities and values."

Issues of economics were my biggest sticking point with Bush in the last election. Perhaps it had something to do with my Starbucks experience, but I came very close to casting my vote for John Kerry precisely on this point. The title of the above article which I referenced was something like...The Death of Compassionate Conservatism. And I must admit that current issues of social concern seem to be receiving inadequate attention from the religious right.

And I've been one to make the argument for allowing the church to tackle some of these needs rather than the government, but let's be honest...if 40,000 students get cut from a reduced-lunch program at their schools, our churches won't do squat about it!

Urgent Care, BP, and Parenting

I have often been accused of being one of those guys who shrugs a shoulder of apathy towards physical pain, sickness, and general issues of health. So after 3 separate injuries to my right foot over a span of about 2 months, I finally decided to visit Urgent Care this past week (since we don't have a family physician in Dayton yet). Although I have often been frustrated by the cycle of...Visit doctor--pay too much--doctor can't help...scenario, I yielded to what seemed like common sense and spent two hours and who knows how much money this past Tuesday evening getting some x-rays and mediocre medical care. The funny thing is, something turned up on the x-ray which the doctor was concerned about and it was nowhere near the area where my pain was. Fortunately, I did get to spend some time with Don Miller soaking in some more of his christian spirituality anectdotes. The other big surprise that evening was my BP (blood pressure of course). The numbers were quite a ways above any I've generated in the past. Which leads me to the last titular issue.

Parenting! Until about 2 months ago...I felt like a pretty good dad. I mean, sure, there's always room for improvement, but overall, no major dysfunction. However, after the last few weeks, I wouldn't be surprised to catch my girls blogging behind my back on mydadsucks.com We are in a down-right grueling phase or something. Fortunately, I suppose, it's not just me. Deb is experiencing the same kind of stuff. Obviuosly, the trauma of our recent relocation has taken a toll...but good grief! I know of plenty of other families who have bounced around with ministry, military, or whatever...and even they're a bit surprised at some of the things we're going through. So combining those issues with the demands of full-time youth ministry at a level I've never experienced before...and bingo...viola...high blood pressure?? I guess I'm getting to the age where you have to start thinking seriously about your health. What a bummer.

Perception

I find it kind of interesting that our perception of time can vary so greatly depending on our circumstances. For instance...I have had some weeks recently that seemed to fly by. Whether it was the level of satisfaction I experienced on the job, at home, in spending time with people, etc...from the start of the week on Monday (I know some people think of Sunday as the first day of the week...but my mind just doesn't break it down that way) to the middle of my day-off on Friday...I would just about swear that only 2 or 3 days worth of time had registered mentally. Other times (like this week), from 8am Monday until this moment (Wednesday evening at about 8:45pm) seemed to take about 8 days worth of energy and time. Sheesh! I just think it might be an interesting study for someone to write a doctoral dissertation about. So keep that in mind for those pursuing their Ph.D. anytime soon.
I guess it's been a long week because of some difficult conversations and some intensely stressful personal situations. When your emotions are fully engaged...the battery drains much more quickly. Fortunately, I've been able to spend some time with one who has endured much more than I ever will in this arena of emotion and psychological strain. The Gethsemane scene from the Passion of the Christ comes to mind. I'm reminded all I need is a little time in a "green pasture" or near some "quiet waters." Anybody know the way to one of those?

Sporadic Spiritual Spin

Many of you know that I have a rare condition known as alliteritus. I feel the sickening need to alliterate whenever possible. I've thought about counseling, hypnosis, inner healing prayer...but then again...perhaps it's just my "thorn of the flesh."

Seriously, though...I was just blogging on Xanga which is where I connect more with students in our youth ministry. Here's what I was saying in that blog-arena...

"I have another question...selfishly motivated a bit...but worth considering I think. What are the ways in which we most deeply connect with God...the Divine...the Creator...Heavenly Father...the Spirit...the Son...etc? I would certainly be the first to admit that in the pursuit of connectedness with God...some days (weeks, months, even years) are better than others.
Lately, I tend to really connect with God in a variety of ways. Cycling for a few strenuous hours seems to position me to really converse with God and reflect on life. Just sitting back on this sweet couch in my office with a hot cup of sumatra seems to provide a God-friendly moment. Chasing my daughter around the tennis net while Deb and I try recreate nostalgic courtship moments (pun alert) gives me this sense of wholeness and purpose. Watching a room full of students authentically worship God around the glow of candle light...that definitely connects me with my creator.
The problem is...we tend to unplug ourselves from God as much as we plug into Him creating this frustrating cycle of sporadic spiritual spin...argh! (that's an old comic book word) So back to my question...what are the ways in which you deeply connect with God and stay connected?"

And I have a tendency to deal with the same issues personally as I'm processing them in the context of ministry (with students or others). One of the greatest challenges of ministry in the context of speaking and teaching others is what I would call internalization. In order to passionately communicate a truth or principle to someone else, I have to own it...believe it...consume it...and live it. So I'm wrestling with this issue of deeply connecting with God. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of spiritual disciplines and contemplative practices for positioning us to encounter God...but there's also a bit of mystery in it. I hesitate to give anyone the idea that you can follow these 5 steps and presto...intimacy with God.

Anyone have some different thoughts on this thought of deeply connecting with God and helping others do the same?

Candy-Coated Christianity

I was just surfing around and found Erwin Mcmanus' new project. The tagline for the book is "the greatest enemy to the movement of Jesus Christ is Christianity." As I was admiring someone else's journey the other day, it occurred to me that Jesus might be quite ticked off about what is passing for Christianity these days. It forces me to evaluate my own "version" of Christianity as well.

AIDs...poverty...hunger...injustice...aiding victims of natural disasters...there are plenty of opportunities to follow the example of Christ. Where does living a comfortable middle-class existence fit into all of that?

But on the other hand...all I know to do is faithfully live out the Kingdom as I know it and experience it right now. Perhaps encouraging the Kingdom life in others will bring me closer and closer to living it myself. We get so easily entrenched in the culture and enslaved to our lifestyles with its paralyzing debt and materialistic ambitions. Or is that just me? What would we do for the Kingdom if we were free from those encumberances?

HTML Humility

Honestly...I felt checked by the Spirit to consider following up my last post with an apology. As I read back over it...I can tell my spirit was not in step with the Spirit. Thanks for your comment, DB!

I suppose that reaffirms some of the limitations of this medium of communication though. Perhaps it's a little too easy to rant and rave excessively.

Well, I'm thankful for a chance to hang out with Stetler today and hear some great thoughts from the likes of NT Wright, Brueggeman, and Newbigin (along with Eric of course). I celebrate the journey of those I see living out a radically re-imagined way to be human.

As I've re-entered the world of professional ministry...the battle for margin and balance rages.

Blog Blockage

As you can probably tell from the sporadic frequency of my last few posts, I'm experiencing some kind of bloggers block.

Actually, I just replied to a blog that really set me off and it's got me wondering if this is a valid use of time. In a recent conversation with a friend who boldly questions the value of this form of communication, he referred to most of the blogs he reads as some form of intellectual masturbation. Now if you can thoughtfully consider that phrase for a moment without being offended or defensive, you might have to agree that there's certainly some truth in that.

I know there have been times when I struggle over the wording or vocabulary in my post because of the response I'm trying to affect or produce. Or I labor over the content of my post to be sure that it's more substantial than the mention of daily rituals and events.

The other issue causing me to rant a bit here is the utter lack of accountability and careless spewing of words which passes for profundity. If things are being said in a blog which are not preceded by a willingness to share the same information in person, then stop wasting everyone's time and go do the right thing.

I'll stop before I get any more stirred up. But as a community of blogging believers, let's be careful how we malign the church and stir up dissent.

Monkey Bars Are Evil

Oh man...what a tough day. I was sitting in my office getting ready to meet with someone when Deb (my wife) called and I could hear my daughter crying in the background. She went to the park after school and was playing on the monkey bars when disaster struck. The bottom line...a broken arm. She fractured the humerus bone (hey, it's not funny!) just above her elbow but fortunately a simple cast for 6 weeks will do the trick. Interesting...every nurse and doctor at the ER commented on how monkey bars are probably the number one source of injuries for children (next was bikes and trampolines).

The whole saga brought back some childhood memories as I thought back to the time I jumped out of tree while playing tag with my brothers. I was determined not to let my little brother tag me so I lured him up the tree a little further planning to jump about 12 feet to the ground and escape his grubby little tag-happy fingers! Turns out I miscalculated the jump a bit and caught my foot on a little branch as I shoved away from the main limb. As my toe hung up on the branch, my head went from being the highest point on my body to being the first thing to hit the ground. I tried to break my fall with my hands and arms but that just caused me to break my wrist just before being knocked unconscious.

As I think back to that and many other physical traumas I experienced as a kid it doesn't seem too bad of an experience. But to be a dad and have your little girl get banged up and subjected to potentially serious injuries?! Makes me want to vomit.

See You At The Poll

I know...I misspelled "pole" but it was intentional. This annual event which draws students to their school flagpoles for prayer every September is quite a good thing...on the surface. But what I'm wondering this morning (as I wait to attend a rally due to a 2-hr school delay) is what the majority of students at the high schools and middle schools think about this event. One of the points made in a good book I'm reading about 7 Effective Practices of Ministry is that you need to look at your church, ministry, or organization through the eyes of an outsider. In youth ministry, that's the majority of each school's student population.

So if we were to take a poll...regarding this pole-praying-practice...would we find the opinions of 'insiders' vs. 'outsiders' to be extremely polarized??

I think so. I'm not saying that See You At The Pole is a bad thing...or that students shouldn't gather for this annual prayer event. But it's just an event. I'd rather see ten students living out the values and lifestyle of Christ than two hundred praying at a flagpole. Again, I'm not trying to be cynical about a valuable expression of Christian devotion in the lives of students. I just don't think the third Wednesday in September is any more crucial for students to live out their faith than the second or fourth Wednesday of any other month.

Neighborhood Integrity

So...we recently gave up the autonomy of living on a half-acre of land with our single-family dwelling place. For the time being, we're squeezing the human and material contents of our previous home into a nice little apartment with a nice little pond a few nice little feathered friends who wander past the sliding glass door on occasion.

But with the benefits of living in close community come the drawbacks as well. One of the most irritating things we deal with on a daily basis is the inability of our neighbors to park efficiently between those spacious white lines. I really am kind of baffled as I drive through the neighborhood and see how haphazardly people park their vehicles. I think I'll suggest that management institute a fine for any vehicle parked over a white line!

Sadder still is the fact that we only lived here for two short weeks before we fell victim to the reckless parking lot navigation efforts of a neighbor. As Deb got out of the car with the kids the other day she recognized something was up when a whole piece of fiberglass panel fell to the ground from one of the rear doors. What we discovered was that the car had been substantially bumped by another vehicle enough to dent the door and bust the connectors which held the panel in place. Now a week later...after having no one confess to the incident...I found the culprit. The light teal paint of our Bonneville is smeared all over the front right fender of our neighbor's Kia Spectra. I can't believe it?! How could run into your neighbor's car, who you're going to see repeatedly and park next to for at least 12 months, and not 'fess up to it?! It's almost funny...if not for the total lack of integrity.

So what do I do? Turn in the license plate number? Put up a note by our mailboxes? Let it go? It's not that I even care about the cost of repair or want to get compensated. I just want to have neighbors with some integrity. Is that why most people in the church don't want to give up their private personal relationship with Jesus for a community-based pursuit of God together? Because the awareness of integrity-loss increases greatly within community. By the way...since the car is paid off...I think I'll just take some liquid nails and slap that piece back in place. That should last a little longer than duct tape, eh?!

The Church's Batting Average

I'm reading a good book right now entitled 7 Practices of Effective Ministry by Andy Stanley and two others from his team at Northpoint church near Atlanta. Over the past few months, I've had several people recommend some of his writing to me, but this is the first one I've dipped into.

One of the things I like so far is the emphasis being placed on relationships and steps rather than programs and events. As I step back up to the plate of youth ministry (Stanley uses some good baseball imagery in the book!) I find myself kicking the dirt around a bit and tapping my bat on the ground establishing my familiarity with home plate. But what is home plate in youth ministry? or in ministry in general? What does it mean to hit a home run?

I suppose that in any kind of ministry setting or even just in our spiritual lives...home plate is a mature relationship (or I should probably say a maturing relationship) with Christ. Scoring a run in this context is helping someone move into ever-increasing Christ likeness. But in order to accomplish that goal, we've got to move people (or ourselves) through a series of steps which lead to that end. Unfortunately, what I've been a part of in most of my years of ministry (which is what I think Stanley is suggesting in his book) is just continual efforts to swing away and assume that any contact made with the ball is a win. But the only hit that counts towards improving the batting average is one which results in advancing someone to first base and beyond.

So we can crank one out of the park (like pulling off a great worship service or event) but if we don't help someone advance towards home plate (spiritual maturity) then we've definitely not accomplished our main goal. My concern and my insecurity right now has a lot to do with the gravitational pull I sense drawing me into a program-driven approach to ministry when I know the focus needs to be on steps, practices, and relationships instead.

LOST AGAIN

No...I'm not talking about the Ohio State Buckeyes...though that was a depressing loss for me (since I now work with a Texan who can be heard shouting "Hook'em Horns" down the hall). I'm not talking about Agassi's loss to Roger Federer today at the US Open either. Although I was really rooting for the old guy to pull it off (Andre is 35 and I'm almost 35. As I get older I find myself cheering on the more 'mature' athletes!)

Anyway...I got lost on my bike again this past Saturday. I should admit though that I don't really mind it. Really I should just call it "exploring" and not getting lost. I like to hop on the bike and just head in a particular direction. The problem is that I have this sense of what the roads should do in my mind. But often roads are not laid out in a logical grid-like way...so that's what throws me off. But this is the second time I've gone "exploring" on this one particular road. And on Saturday I just kept making the wrong decision when I had a chance to take a turn. My wife makes fun of me because in those situations I have a "feeling" about whether I'm headed in the right direction or not. And although I would "feel" like the decision was right...it took me further from where I wanted to be.

Finally I noticed that the sun was setting and the thought occurred to me to just head south...I knew that would take me to familiar territory. So as I looked to the sun...I was able to figure out my next move and finally came across the road I was looking for. My legs were starting to resist the commands to keep pumping at a steady pace, but as I churned along (now with confidence in my location) I thought of the spiritual implications and analogy. Aren't there times when we makes decisions based on what "feels" right? I know I do. And the frustration that sets in after making the wrong choices over and over...that gets downright maddening. But when I settle down and look up...(not just up directionally, but up spiritually)...I look to the Son and get my bearings. Then things become clear again. I love clarity!

BLOG Balance

I think I will try to create another blog or two so I can keep a certain focus here. I'm tempted to start blogging about things which pertain more to youth ministry or that connect with the students I'll be sharing life with. But I actually want to keep this blog focused more on the personal journey...the inward and upward journeys.

To my surprise, this blog has launched or re-launched many old friendships and relationships. That has been very meaningful to me. I hope to continue those conversations and start many more in the days ahead.

But balance has always been a problem for me. And being back in a fairly traditional context of ministry adds many demands and expectations. The key for me is to hold steady on my non negotiable values of life and ministry. Regardless of job security, people-pleasing, or performance issues...I have to keep my eyes on those compass points. Have any of you stumbled across some significant strategies for maintaining balance in ministry...or life in general?? (it can be just as hard or harder outside of ministry I learned)

Daddy Daughter Distress

For the past couple of weeks, we've really been nervous about this whole move and transition from the angle of my daughter starting 1st grade at a completely new and public school. Well...the four of us walked into her new school this morning (at 7:30am!!) and only three walked out. Actually...my youngest was on my shoulders and pretty sleepy/grumpy so she didn't do much walking. But we left daughter number one in a class full of strangers with a strange teacher, a strange teacher's aid, and hundreds of other strangers in the building as well.

So I came home from work early to check in with the family and get a first-hand report on the experience.

Are
you
wondering
how
it
went?

Are
you
anticipating
the
rest
of
this story??

Well...she loved it! Even the food was good...so daddy's (my) distress has been mostly resolved.
Soon I'll be taking her to her first dance and then paying for a prom dress! I'm going to need some counseling soon.

Chris

Salute to a friend

So I'm breaking the blog silence with a salute to perhaps my best friend on the planet. I think it becomes very evident where you have or haven't invested your relational capital during a time of crisis or great need. Having just passed through one of the most physically demanding weeks of my life...all my rhetoric about community has been put to the test. As it turns out...I've talked alot about community over the past year or so...but haven't really developed much of it. A great lesson has been learned...the hard way as usual.

So to my lifelong buddy (only 8 years now but it will be 58 years by the time I bust out of this clay jar)...Chappy...again I say..."Thanks!" I literally could not have made it through the past week without you. Makes me want to sing some song about Snoopy and Charlie, Batman & Robin, etc, etc :-)

A Week of Blog-lessness

Since I'll be packing up all our earthly belongings and getting the house ready to sell...I must bid a fond farewell to the blog for about a week. Stay tuned for a recap of the relocation saga sometime in September.

Blessings,

Chris

Golfing: Friend or Foe?

I got to enjoy a beautiful morning while hacking out of a few sandtraps today. In celebration of a friend's birthday, we gathered early this morning at a nice course. It was an absolutely perfect day for golf even though my game was perfectly dreadful...especially the putting. My tee shots and mid-irons were all pretty good. Chipped it close a few times, but I couldn't sink a putt for anything. It has been quite awhile since I've played a round of golf. The fellowship and weather was terrific...but I'm not going to start sneaking back out to the course anytime soon...not when I can take that 3-4 hours and ride 60 miles...for free!

I had an interesting experience/observation yesterday while reading a good book. I was at the Easton outdoor mall which is just about 10 minutes from our house. They have built a very nice quad-type area with a fountain which provides a nice park-like setting with benches right in the middle of all the restraunts and shops. As I was sitting on a bench reading some Brian McLaren...several children were squealing, jumping, and running through the fountain area. It must have some sort of random setting which causes various spouts to shoot water about six or eight feet into the air. These kids were running from side to side across the spray zone trying to outwit the water and avoid the cool refreshing eruptions.

At one point, I got totally distracted from my reading while listening to the unihibited joy being displayed for all to see by these children. A group of about ten little kids were enjoying the fountain with a group of about 50 or so individuals walking by or sitting at a nearby outdoor cafe or seated at the other benches around the square. I thought of Jesus' words when He said that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these. When was the last time I just bathed in the joy of laughter or frivolity? When did I last abandon myself to completely enjoying the company of others? of my children? of God in worship?

After a few minutes of reflection I tuned the laughter out and returned to my book...and my inhibited formal style of being. But something in me longed to throw the book down and jump in the water with those kids! I wish I had been that courageous!

Chicago Tribunal

I have this obsessive need to alliterate and play on words. We just returned from Chicago at 4:43a.m. this morning and the "tribunal" I'm referring to was actually a very laid back and congenial interview process with an exciting church in need of some youth ministry leadership. But Chicago is intense! The traffic when we were driving towards the Sears Tower around midnight Saturday evening was thicker than rush hour in Columbus on Friday mornings. And just driving around the burbs to find a spot for dinner took about 30 mintues to travel 10 miles. Crazy!

But what an exciting place to live and brush up against a myriad of cultures and peoples. Plus there was no shortage of Starbucks!

The issues which are creating confusion for us are many: distance from family, ministry vision, leadership potential, future growth opportunities...personal, career, and family..., financial considerations, school for Jess, housing options, cost of living, proximity to the Appalachian Trail (just kidding on that one). But the list could go on.

I feel intense pressure to completely tune into the voice of the heart. Where are we being tugged and nudged by the Spirit? Could you help us pray for clarity?! Thank you!

Chris

Much Brewing Over Starbucks

My brother just sent me an interesting article with some harsh criticism of Starbucks. Since I've been a Starbucks Partner (employee) for almost a couple of years now...I've had to field a lot of questions about my affiliation with the liberal purveyor of lattes. Here's a link http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=45694o the article which I think is a good call for discernment.

Without doing a great deal of research on it however...I can assure you that Starbucks does not hate children anymore than the Catholic Church hates children (which has been much more responsible for damage to children than Starbucks.) Starbucks does a great deal in the local communities as well as in the global communities to demonstrate otherwise. Just to name a few things I've been involved in personally...Starbucks collects toys for seriously (terminally) ill children around the holidays, sponsors kid-friendly events which raise money for environmental and social causes, and puts millions of dollars towards literacy campaigns for children. (Unfortunately, I'm not being paid to defend Starbucks) Although my Starbucks journey is practically over...I do take great PRIDE in the company and most of the values which they promote.

Now, having said that...I don't agree with any support which Starbucks is giving to the Gay and Lesbian agenda, Planned Parenthood, or any other groups which work against what I would hold to be biblical family values. (Why not support heterosexual and monogamous relationship oriented events which would bolster the success of marriage and family--a value held by many Starbucks customers?) But I do not consider the gay & lesbian community to be the cesspool of moral deprivation which most conservative evangelical Christians do. I have met some homosexual individuals during my journey with Starbucks who are closer to the Kingdom than many heterosexual hypocrites I've been going to church with for years! I believe the church is so full of sin that uniting against the "big" sin of homosexuality provides some kind of anesthetic arrogance which gives the deceptive sensation of enjoying God's favor and grace.

Before I get carried away any further, let me just say that if you're looking for dirt you'll find it. One problem I have with Meghan Kleppinger's article is that she (and most Christians) miss the economic injustice and social injustice which is a far greater problem in God's eyes (read the prophets). Don't think in terms of the $4,000 given to the irresponsible Coffee Corporation...but think in terms of the irresponsible Christian who has spent at least $4,000 in luxuries without being concerned about starving children or aids-infected babies or whatever?! That's the kind of Kingdom stuff Jesus might be more concerned with in this whole debate.

So yes...I will continue to purchase and consume Starbucks' beverages. Kleppinger's article and her lifestyle choice is one to be respected though. I can certainly appreciate someone who is willing to take a stand somewhere...whether or not I stand beside them.

Catalyzing Community

That's the phrase I used in a philosophy of youth ministry which I just hammered out. Ministry ought to have a significant emphasis on building authentic community and developing relationships within the body of Christ...relationships which contribute to spiritual transformation.

But then the question came at me..."What does that look like in the life of middle school student?" And I thought to myself...that's a great question!

For the past couple of years in seminary, Starbucks, and ministry (what a combination)...I've been processing all kinds of stuff which has led me to some seemingly great conclusions in my own life about community, intimacy with God, suffering, reconciliation, and more. Now comes the difficult task of translating these truths into meaningful and practical terms for students. With confidence I'll move towards that goal...but it's just not the kind of stuff that's easy to explain in one sentence or less. I want to say to people what Christ said...just come follow me...we'll learn together. I'm sure of the destination...which is the journey itself.

The Starbucks Journey Terminus

It could be that I'm taking my last lunch break from Starbucks this evening. I've said for the past few months that I couldn't see myself ever totally leaving Starbucks as an employee. My plan was to settle in somewhere new and find a nearby 'bux to just kick a shift or two per week at. But the journey might end after all. Now for the dilemma of paying full price (or paying anything for that matter) for my coffee.

A third interview is in my near future for deciding our next church home for awhile. I can do nothing but trust in the Lord with all my heart...and acknowledge God every moment...and pray that the path becomes clear to all. Please pray that we make decisions in the Spirit over the next week or so. Thank you!

More Soul Space

I've been packing up my books at home...which has turned into a monumental project. I really have too many books. But anyway...it's fun to come across titles which I've previously read and reflect on their impact on my life. One book in particular which caught my attention (as I packed up the box labeled spiritual formation) was Soul Space by Jerome Daily. It was one of the books I was reading or had just read when I started this blog last year. The concept is simple and has to do with the need for simplicity. Our souls become cluttered in much the same way that the peripheral spaces of our homes become cluttered. It takes constant effort to maintain uncluttered living space in the deep places of our souls. Because the spiritual interior of our lives is not visible to the typical bystander, church acquaintance, or even some family members...it is so important that we take time to reflect and submit our souls to God's transforming gaze. For me...that's the pursuit of holiness. The sanctification of our hearts, minds, and wills is a setting-apart-act which is performed on us as we position ourselves in postures of yieldedness to God. I don't DO anything to get holy. I just position myself to get closer to the sanctfier...the holy presence...the transforming Spirit of God which nourishes my soul like a steady rain after a long unquenchable dryness.

When you're positioned for transformation and the awareness of grace seems intensified, it's a wonderful time...even in the midst of trial or suffering...because God's presence in adversity is better than even the best of circumstances without that awareness.

Numb from Waiting

One of the most paralyzing situations I've ever experienced is waiting. Not my cup of tea!

Preference vs. Presence

First let me share an update on our journey of interviewing and searching for a new home church... We had a very informal but effective time of dialogue (interview) last night with a great team of church leaders. The setting was unusual in that we went to the pastor's home for dinner along with about 10 or 12 individuals serving as ministry leaders. As much as an interview could be, it was comfortable and informative. I think I got a feel for the vision of the church, some recent history, and perceived strengths. Many of the typical questions were launched towards me and I tried not to just regurgitate the 'right answers' but to use them as opportunities to share my values and non-negotiables in ministry. Although I'm sure the groups who have been interviewing with us perceive themselves as the interview-ers...I'm quite sure we've entered the process perceiving it the other way around. And so far...we've exerted some form of control over this process...but now that we've encountered a situation which seems to have God all over it...and just about every issue of vision, resources, spiritual authenticity, etc is in place...now we submit to the situation and pray for God to bring clarity!

Now for the part of this post which actually connects with the title...

I was invited to speak at a men's prayer breakfast this morning on the topic of worship and challenging men to encounter God in deeper ways (which applies to both genders actually). As I was preparing to speak and share this week, I kept hitting a "wall" because I was looking for something profound to say...from the latest book or worship guru. Finally the Spirit urged me to share the things I have personally been learning about worship lately.

I could sum that journey up in a couple of trite (yet meaningful) phrases. Worship is not about 'preference' (i.e. the style of worship that appeals to me) but about 'presence.' Worship is a response to God's presence...not just His presence in a building while music is playing and hands are being lifted...but His presence which can be celebrated daily in the 'jars of clay' in Spirit and in Truth (John 4). Worship is also about the daily cultivation of relational intimacy and passion for God. It's not about obligatory spiritual performance.

My Girls to the Rescue

My ride yesterday should've been about 50 or 60 miles...if I had finished it! I had not been eating healthy for the past few days or even been on the bike in over a week due to that bad spoke. So I should have done 20 to 30 miles. As is my usual custom though...I bit off more than I could chew and called Deb and the girls in as my "lag" vehicle. I had left a voice message at home with pain in my voice and being out of breath. Jess heard and asked Deb, "Is daddy okay??" She got a kick out of coming to my rescue as I heaved the bike into the trunk of the car.

Ooops...lunch break is over at Starbucks. Just a few more days.

Big interview Friday evening...if you're the praying type...please throw one up for us!

Blessings.

Cycling Sycophant

Cycling: the act of riding a cycle..i.e. bicycle

Sycophant: a servile self-seeking flatterer (synonym: parasite)

I think the connotation of 'sycophant' is rather negative, so I don't think it's an accurate representation of me personally...but the phrase came to mind and sounded cool in my head.

But I am all about the bike today. Just dropped it off next door at BikeSource with my buddy Kurt who is going to replace my damaged spoke and get me ready for a 40 or 50 mile ride today. I've only been on the bike once since RAIN (ride across Indiana) where I broke the spoke originally. Then while I was near Canton speaking at their youth camp, I rode into Alliance, OH and broke what I think to be the same spoke. It's not the actual spoke which is breaking...but the piece which connects it to the wheel. I'm trying to avoid replacing the whole wheel.

During this spiritual 'stage ride' of ministry transition...some time on the bike is good medicine. Just my face against the wind...and my legs against the lactic acid! And hopefully God will speak as I put my trust in another spoke.

Birthday Blitz

My daughter Jessica just turned 6. She'll be in 1st grade in just a few weeks. Unfathomable!!

Anyway...we've stretched out the birthday celebration for a little over a week celebrating with various circles of friends and family. It has been alot of fun...much more fun than any birthdays I remember as a kid. Makes me wonder if we're spoiling our girls?! They certainly have too much STUFF! I know we're not teaching them live counter-culturally when it comes to material possessions. Of course, that has to be modeled from the top down, right?

As far as the celebrating goes however...I definitely don't mind erring on the side of emotional indulgence. I guess we'll find out how we did in about twenty years...when she is or is not in need of counseling.

But...what a blessing...these beautiful daughters of mine! I better get back home to read books with them...

Confession Is Good For the Soul Mate

I recently confessed to my wife that I was being a pretty crappy husband lately. I could produce a list of pretty good excuses, but the truth remains. And confession may be good for the soul...but I'm not sure what it does for the soul-mate. Because I had nothing to offer except the confession. I honestly cannot pinpoint the reason I'm being an occasional insensetive dweeb of a spouse. And I can't honestly claim that the condition is going to immediately improve.

I suppose the benefit was just in exposing the ugliness. And the confession did evoke a response of something like..."well, I'm glad it's not just me." Which I interpret to mean that she knew I was the one being a jerk...but just needed confirmation from the horse's mouth. Actually, I do feel a sense of relief that I've admitted my marital malice and I can stop this pretentious act that all my little irritations are a result of some fault and flaw in my wife. Deb is not the perfect spouse, by her own admission, but she's alot closer than I sometimes give her credit for.

And interestingly enough...our 11th anniversary was this past weekend! Maybe anniversaries are a natural time for relational repairs.

The BLOG of Life

Certainly I don't want to exalt blogging to some form of divinely inspired newly dispensed canon of Scripture, but...after catching up on some blogs out there and connecting with some new ones...I AM inspired. The Spirit is stirring in many ways and many locations. And so many are taking the exit ramp off of mainstream bankrupt Christianity and finding some healthy detours up the Mountain of God! It's a tough climb but the view is getting more incredible each day.

Something disturbed me though as my browser collided with a blog of ministry despair. Some ex-youth pastors were lamenting the woes of previous ministries and celebrating their freedom from the politics and pretense of church. While I know exactly what they've been through (after 10 years of youth ministry) I have this sense of sadness. Maybe it's because after a year away from all that craphole context of ministry...I'm going back. I fear that I may be unable to sustain this emergent postmodern approach (whatever you want to call it) to following Jesus.

But what I really fear is a world of youth pastors and young church leaders who will walk away from church without the willingness to sacrifice their lives on the front lines of a revolution. I don't want to die anymore than the next schmuck...but who's going to keep this culturally irrelevant brand of Christianity from being passed to another generation?!

Fishing & Fasting

Actually, I have discovered that these two disciplines (yes, fishing is a spiritual discipline) go quite well together. As long as you don't take food with you in the boat...and as long as you're commited to not eating raw fish...the relationship is complimentary.

So I set out on a mission yesterday with the canoe strapped to the top of my Ford Focus and a hunger to encounter God. There's just something spiritual and therapeutic about sitting out on a fairly large body of water with the wind as the dominant force being applied to your vessel. (I very much envy those on the sailboats as I'm paddling my obliques off!) As I sat back against the center seat of my canoe and soaked in the Son...I sensed confirmation in the direction that our family is heading. I was also able to finalize a "no" for one particular ministry context which had become available to us. Besides that, I caught about ten little half-pound bass and one that about two pounds or so. With my light pole and light test line...it was a lot of fun to bring that fiesty one in.

Well, today I'm off to further a conversation which might lead us to a great healthy and exciting church...or it may just sharpen my focus towards a specific model of youth ministry which I'm growing more and more passionate about. Regardless...I'm just so grateful that God is giving us/me patience with this process and providing just enough guidance for each day.

Searching Saga

So...I hit a little snag this weekend with my future career in ministry. Actually, it has resulted in a helpful process of re-defining and clarity. But I walked away from an interview completely confused about whether I would ever really "fit" again in a church staff ministry context. I found myself wanting to jump back into the friendly world of Starbucks management where expectations are clearly defined and pretty easy to achieve. But as the day wore on...my self-talk (and God-talk) lifted me out of that despair and a perfectly timed phone call from Virginia encouraged me immensely! There ARE churches out there (and pastors) who can almost perfectly articulate my angst and passion!

And then this morning...I had an encounter during the midst of this saga of searching which truly lifted the spiritual fog which had settled in over me. Basically, I had a conversation with a couple of leaders/pastors in which my dream model of youth ministry was being articulated without me having to say a word. I'm just literally speechless about it right now and waiting for the divine nod, nudge, no, or whatever!

No Pressure

Deb and I are sitting in a hotel in Florida trying to discern God's will for our lives...no pressure! I remember the good ol' days when we used to interview with just the two of us. Impacting the lives of two beautiful little girls wasn't part of the equation. Figuring out where to go to school, where to live, and where to pursue life just wasn't nearly as complicated. Having made a couple of mistakes in this area previously...I have no desire to make the wrong decision this time around.

When you're making a big decision and doing the whole "pro's" and "con's" list, it's not too tough to fill up both columns. It seems to me like it still ends up being sort of a crap shoot (not that I even know what a "crap shoot" is!) I actually do have a sense though that God is going to make things clear for us. We're certainly praying that way.

I miss my girls like crazy!

Trail Finding

I'm on a quest today...a quest for the best mountain bike trail in Canton, Ohio. It looks like I may have googled upon one that fits the bill. I have the morning off from speaking to a group of students this week at a camp in the Canton area. We've been talking about the discovery of our true identities and the implications of acknowledging that God has known us, formed us, and set our unique identities apart from before the time we were each conceived. And what is the impact of expressing these unique identities within the context of community, family, and beyond?

Well, I'm going to ponder that a bit more as I fling some mud up on my backside! I'll also be pondering the turmoil, confusion, excitement, anxiety, and nausea which has all been brought on by an intense search to find the next context out of which our family can live, grow, and minister. Nothing like a few miles on the bike to help you process life's difficult decisions.

Camp Thunder

I've been hanging out this week at a summer camp for middle and high school students. It's been a fun change of pace from the hectic world of coffee (just in the mornings!) But the weather has been a bit unpredictable.

Yesterday I suited up and took the bike out for a few miles winding through some backroads somewhere in Stark County. I should've known that the nice tailwind and descents I was experiencing the first ten miles would mean pain and struggle on the return trip. Unfortunately, as I got past a tiny little town called Alliance, one of my back spokes popped again. The little silver "nipple" which attaches the spoke to the outer rim fractured and broke in two. The same thing happened on the ride across Indiana a couple of weeks ago.

So I pulled out the spoke (fortunately my wheel has 23 more besides that one) and rode the bike a few hundred yards to a little hometown auto shop. A nice gentleman there loaned me some allen wrenches as he suspiciously eyed my spandex outfit! I had to remove the rear brakes and ride the ten miles back uphill and into a terrible headwind. Then the lightning started flashing and ended up with a nice little thunder shower for the last mile.

Life is always interesting when you put yourself out there.

Along with my friend Bob, I just attempted to bike across the state of Indiana! (RAIN is an acronym for Ride Across INdiana) It was about 160 miles in one day. Bob conquered the whole distance. I lost about 15 miles at mile 110 but was able to meet up with Bob 15 miles later (thanks to my parents!) and finish pretty strong. So 145 miles is my new personal record for miles biked in one day. It was a great experience.

Tough Stuff

On the weekdays I get a great little snippet/essay from the following website (if you're interested)... www.dailydig.bruderhof.org

Today's opening paragraph struck me with one word in particular. Here's the quote...

"Discipleship means complete dedication. It demands everything - the whole heart, the whole mind, and the whole of life, including one's time, energy, and property - for the cause of love. Half-hearted Christianity is worse than no Christianity."

Can you pick out a word from that challenge which might be causing my discomfort? It's "property." That one seems to cross the line (from the perspective of my American materialistic and individualistic culture). Of course, the other two life-issues mentioned are not much easier...time & energy?? We just often assume that we're already on board with those. But again, how much of my time and energy is devoted to the whole-hearted pursuit of Christ?

It just never gets easy!

Limbs and Limitations

Actually, I'll reverse the order of subjects here by starting with limitations. There is really no substitute for face-to-face personal communication. Blogs and email are nice, but my previous couple of posts have illustrated the limitations of this form of communication. So although I subscribe (literally) to new technology and see wonderful potential for all things digital and wireless...I hope to see our culture actually "digress" in some ways regarding the emphasis we place on personal connection, relationships, and authentic community. There is certainly value to be found in the blogging and online communities which we form...but it is not a substitute for the kinds of relationships and community we were designed for.

Now on to "limbs"...that's a comical play on words I suppose for I have crawled out upon once myself! Some would call it a step of faith. Others would call it irresponsible. I can't decide which it is...depending on the day. What I know though...is that we can't make decision based on fear and insecurity. We need to make decisions, especially regarding our future and the future of our families, based on the bedrock of our identities...who we are created to be. To pursue anything other than that path leads us towards spiritual and emotional death.

Domingo's Dialogue

Domingo is "Sunday" in Spanish...my goal of alliteration wouldn't work in English so...too much explanation, eh?? Sorry!

I recently received the following response to a previous blog posting. I want to “copy” you (the blogging community) in on the conversation because it gives me an opportunity to further explain some things. I’ll protect the identity of my blog responder obviously but include each of his/her comments below...

Regarding my migraine episode...

"caffeine (sp?) is one of the major migraine triggers. you might want to switch to decaf, sorry :-(" I type as I sip my sugar free, caffeine free, sodium free, Diet Rite. If only I had a rocking chair.Rocking in a rocking chair is a simple pleasure. Without close knowledge of your current lifestyle it is hard to understand what you mean by a simple life. A rocking chair, a canoe trip, these are simple pleasures that provide a respite from a productive life, but they are just the border of the picture.

Regarding the simple life...

As far as the simple life goes...it sounds appealing but what is accomplished? I'm no money chasing capitalist but each of us is given gifts to use in a productive fashion. I'm not sure how that fits, sometimes your blog just seems to beg for a counterpoint. I assume you are looking for them or you wouldn't be blogging.

My response..

It seems like we have this "iron sharpens iron" kind of relationship/dialogue. What's up with that? But it's good and you're right...I think my blog is a place where I can say things that demand rebuttal.

Hopefully I won't have to give up caffeine...but after a year or so with starbucks, it's about the right time to start seeing some side effects of that!

Simple life? Productive? Might be apples and oranges but you raise the foundational issue against which I'm reacting in various ways. My last 10 years of ministry have been very productive...but not extremely effective. Certainly semantics are crucial here because the way you define productivity or efficiency or even simplicity impacts the conversation greatly. But I like what you said about the "border of the picture." That's exactly what is missing from most our lives. There IS no border. One author calls it "margin." We live life right up to the edges filling our days (the page or canvass) completely. Maybe balance is a better word than simple to describe what I've found and realize. I have finally narrowed my productivity enough to leave room for relationships...with my family, with my neighbors, with whatever person happens into the picture.

Again, I value your perspective and comments. Probably we agree on all the principles involved but lack the same language. Or maybe we don't agree on foundational issues? Either way...it's very helpful for me to dialogue with you. Speaking of canoeing...that’s a great idea...I’m on my way (later this week)!

Conclusions...

Actually, I'll let you come to your own! Bendiciones!

Thursday's Therapy

There is something therapeutic about sitting down with a cup of coffee! Actually, just taking the time to sit and drink a cup of coffee...experiencing the flavor, body, and aroma in a relaxed environment....that's probably the key. Most people though are just hurrying in and out jumping back in their line of traffice to speed off to "nowhere" fast.

My sleepless night of revelation might be confirmed through some of the encounters of this day...so I'm excited for what the day holds! But as I contemplate a transition of some kind, I'm frightened by the challenge to maintain the simplicity. The pace of life right now is very pleasing. We were meant to enjoy life...to enjoy others...to enjoy God! Much of our lives consist of mindless distractions from those priorities however.

From Migraine to My Gain

I have had two first-time experiences today which I need to reflect on here (more for my sake than yours.)

This morning as I began my shift at Starbucks steaming milk and pulling shots of espresso, I began to have some strange symptoms. As I glanced up at the screen to see what drinks I was making for the drive-thru customers, I noticed my vision becoming quite blurry and foggy around the edges. And just a minute or so later I began to feel dizzy, lightheaded, and nauseated. That taste crept up the back of my throat which seems to warn of more to come...the wrong direction! And then the pain set in right behind my right eye. I’m not the type to really get sick or have physically challenging moments like that, so it was very awkward yet very obvious to those I was working with. After battling those symptoms for about four hours and finishing my shift, I finally got back home and rested for a few hours. By the end of the day...all the symptoms were nearly gone thought I still had the sense of not feeling “quite right.” After doing some research online and talking to my wife about her mother and brother’s similar experience, I realized I had probably had my first migraine...yippee!!

My other first-time experience is still in progress. At this very moment, it is 2:43 a.m. and I seem to be having a spiritual awakening when I’d rather be sleeping. There have really only been three times in my life that I’ve had this sort of experience in which there is some obvious effort on God’s part to get my attention. These times have always preceded some sort of major transition such as moving, changing career, etc. Well, since I’m about four hours into this sleepness night of prayer and planning, I can’t completely reflect on what is transpiring. Hopefully I will know more soon!

Independence Day

Speaking of 'independence,' our culture is consumed with that pursuit, isn't it? As my life has become simpler, it has also become a bit untethered. I lack many of those anchors of obligation which kept me on track in many ways. I confessed during a time of worship yesterday that much of my previous piety had been constructed from the inferior yet sturdy materials of spiritual obligation and duty. In the days ahead I must reconstruct...rebuild...remember.

The Canoe

I have to say...this stage of life is quite good! Opportunities for reflection are now a daily rather than a weekly luxury. I've spent more time with my family in the past two weeks than they would probably even prefer...but it's a blessing indeed.

Jess and I just had a great adventure in our new canoe! That's right...I finally have a boat and it's going to be a great source of fun, memories, and adventures throughout the summer. But we were out on Hoover Reservoir yesterday when a nice little T-storm blew over. The wind was gusting, rain was pouring, and eventually some lightning forced us off the water. We were greeted at the shore by a cute little water snake and I finally got the canoe strapped back onto the car while getting drenched.

I find myself now living one day at a time...and enjoying each one. Thanks to the One who shares every good and perfect gift with us!

Cinderella Man

Deb and I just went to see Russell Crowe's latest story of inspiration directed by Ron Howard (go Opie!) It stirred up some things in me as a man. I think, as men, we long for our lovers/wives to re-speak our dreams back into us. When that doesn't happen...we lose a lot of confidence in who we are as men, providers, the proverbial knights in shining armor, etc, etc.

There was a scene in the movie in which Jim Braddock's wife, Mae, decided not to support him in his boxing journey. As she emotionally withdrew in that moment, I leaned over to Deb and whispered...that's as painful to him as sexual infedelity would be to her...or you! But the emotional and mental chasm between men and women remains unbridged. I could tell Deb didn't believe my analogy.

Marriage isn't easy!

Soapbox and Suds

Regarding my previous post...the ministry of presence is certainly the 'right thing' regardless of my personal moral perspective on 'diversity.'

But I'm still hung up on the other issue. I think it's because this issue represents an area of major hypocrisy in the conservative evangelical church and holiness denominations especially. Drinking alcohol is perceived as a sinful association with the world within which we are trying to be 'in' but not 'of.' Yet how many of these (including myself) pious individuals populate the bar/restraunts throughout the week and even on the sabbath? The only reason I don't drink is because I have been religiously conditioned from an early age to believe that drinking alcoholic beverages is the choice of the morally inferior and spiritually unenlightened. I could certainly list a few other behaviors and activities which God speaks against that my fellow conservative Christians engage in regularly....envy, materialism, social injustice, overeating, gossip, workaholism, divorce, robbing God of tithe etc etc.

I just don't think it's going to continue to "fly"...projecting extra-biblical restrictions on people while ignoring many of the biblical ones for ourselves. If I can build a bridge to someone over a cold Corona or a hot Caramel Macchiato...either way, I'm going for it. And that brings up perhaps the most tragic characteristic of the modern evangelical conservative Christian...they're not even trying to build bridges! Most are content to have their own little church-world and proclaim the door is always open...but insist that people walk through that door first! That's bunk...and it's not the Church Jesus died for us to BE!

On 'Pride' and Pubs

So...as I begin to reflect a little more on daily life and figure out how to wisely invest in relationships, I find myself dealing with two big issues.

First, many of the people I would like to share some life with spend a good bit of time in the local 'pubs' of our land. That presents two practical problems for me...well, one at least. Problem #1 is the risk of reputation within my 'religious tribe.' Problem #2 has to do with my convictions regarding social drinking. If I believe it's morally fine for someone else to drink responsibly, do I really "believe" it if I don't step off my moral pedestal to join them?

The second big issue is probably a moot point for many of you, but it's potentially a fine line for me. Columbus' Gay Pride Parade is this weekend. I have several friends from Starbucks who will be representing the company and its celebration and embrace of 'diversity.' I'm drawn to the event and wish to show my friendship, support, and human solidarity to my friends. There's this little evangelical conservative part of me that speaks a different language.

I'll get back to you on these two topics...

Marvelous Monday

I'm beginning my second week of educational freedom. I'll be walking out of Starbucks in a matter of minutes. After plowing through about twenty minutes of Columbus traffic...my little Ford Focus will roll up the driveway and park for the evening. Maybe I'll mow the grass, maybe watch a movie, whatever?! Most importantly...I'll sit down to eat dinner with my family and enjoy some "tickle time" with my two beautiful daughters (and my wife...but she doesn't enjoy the tickling as much as my 5 and 2 year olds!)

But it's a wonderful feeling to have the "margins" restored to your life. As I hear friends and co-workers nearly exult in their hectic, productive, and "efficient" schedules and lifestyles...I whisper a prayer of thanksgiving to the One who has led me by still waters.

Cap & Gown Time!

In about 24 hours, I'll be able to tack a few letters to the end of my name. In 1993 I graduated from college and got the privilege to add "BA" to my name...which must have stood for Bad Attitude. I thought it would have been more appropriate to have gotten a "BS" since I "BS'ed" my way through a lot of papers! But now I get to add this little "M.Div" to my list of achievements. A buddy at Starbucks asked me yesterday, "So what are you going to do with this masters of divination?" I thought that was a humorous play on words. I wish I could "divine" a few things at the moment!

But don't worry...I don't claim any special "divinity" and I'm not going to ask anyone to call me "master." I'm not into titles right now...I'm into integrity. I'm not concerned with position...I'm more concerned about disposition. We don't make real progress in life with credentials...but with character.

But hey, if you want to see me and my educational community wearing some cool black robes and hats tomorrow...check out this link http://www.ashland.edu/seminary/alumni-grad.html

Beginning of the End

I just finished the first session of a week-long course which will just about complete my masters degree. Very exciting indeed.

In exactly 12 days I will put on that cap and gown (it's like being 18 all over again!) and celebrate the end of a wonderful but long and tedious chapter of my life.

One of the things I'm most looking forward to is reading a book without thinking about the paper or reflection I have to write on it when I'm done! And there are a stack of books I've been waiting to read without "having to" read.

"Further up and further in!"

Near-Death Experience

While studying and working on a paper for ten hours straight today...in a library that smells like stale fish for some reason...I had a near-death experience.

As I collapsed onto a table loaded with commentaries, bibles, and socio-rhetorical studies of the first century Graeco-Roman world...I saw a bright light. As I got closer and closer to the light I realized that my mind had been separated from my body and then I heard a deep voice. It was quiet at first but kept getting louder...

"Chris..."

"Chris..."

"Hey, Bean!"


Then I realized the terrible nature of my dilemma...I had fallen asleep and a buddy was bringing the ugly truth to everyone's attention by calling my name from across the room!

Two more weeks and I'm free!!
Free to sleep in....
Free to play X-box...
Free to go kayaking with my patient little princess, Jessica!

Can't wait!

A Vicious Cycle Experience

I am still recovering from my first TOSRV. That's an abbreviation for the annual cycling event which follows the Scioto river from Columbus to Portsmouth. I left Saturday morning with about 3,000 other cyclists and arrived in Portsmouth a rainy ten hours later! (the sun did shine for the middle forty miles...but the start and finish was wet and cool)

Half way into the ride I was already cramping up on Saturday, but somehow I recovered overnight and thoroughly enjoyed the return trip on Sunday. It was an interesting experience to be part of the cycling culture. There were actually some interesting lessons on community and endurance which I'll be injecting into the next few posts I'm sure.

But after 210 miles of riding in two days...my legs are still quivering and my seat is super sore!

30 Days of Purpose

Yes...I'm going to write a book once I emerge on the other side of this educational journey. For the next 30 days, my purpose is resolute! I must complete the demanding requirements of 4 graduate level classes. That is my purpose for the moment. The big, harry, audacious obstacle I'm facing is a desperate lack of motivation. I just want to play Ghost Recon on the X-box for about 8 hours straight!

May God have mercy on my pracastinating soul!

Thirsty on Thursday

You know that feeling when your throat is getting dry and pasty?? When that hangy down thing (uvula...sp?) is so dry it sticks to the sides of your throat as you swallow. Each time you attempt to work up enough saliva to moisten the parched lining of your mouth and the effort becomes slightly more painful than the last??

My soul feels that way...like I set out for a long journey without enough water. The demands of life, school, work, finances, and family can create a sense of despair. And I long for that feeling of refreshment when I reach the next source of life-sustaining spiritual water.

Why does it seem like that source is part of the time-space continuum? Shouldn't we be able to access those times of refreshing at will? God is certainly near...immanent...ever-present. But it's more than the simple utterance of a prayer at times. It's a desert journey...perhaps a dark night of the soul...a long remote and arduous stretch of trail to be traveled.

I liken it to those times that I'm on my bike...riding the fifty mile route or more. I can take two full 22oz water bottles on the bike with me. But those are usually only good for 30 miles or so. So I have to go the last 20 miles without water or take some detour which will lead me to that liquid of life. Right now I'm on that last 20 mile stretch. The reward is going to be great...the exhilaration of finishing this leg of the race will fill with a sense of accomplishment.

But I've got a few miles to go!

Saturday's Scramble

I was just replying to a friend’s blog and it sparked more than just a comment here. So I’m just going to build on my comment to his anaology and see where it goes. Basically, my buddy was LINKing a golf experience with a life experience. As he made the turn to the “back nine” of the post...this statement was made. “Isn't that how it is when we first give our lives to Christ, it gets tiring trying to figure it all out and learn all the stuff necessary to begin to get stronger in our relationships.” (to read his entire post, visit http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=gobigblue and look for Friday March 25)

Well...I agree with his comments except I think the first sentence in the second paragraph ought to read more like..."Isn't that how it is after you've been living for Christ for ten or twenty years??!!" Let’s jump back to the golf setting again for a moment.

You'd think after playing golf for ten years...I'd be shooting par or better. Not so! But to adequately apply the analog... I think that you have to consider most Christians put about as much effort into earning their spiritual tour card (becoming a mature disciple) as I do in preparing for "Q-School!" We go to church on the weekends (or less) and consider our church attendance to be the sum total of our spiritual fitness regime. Now if I played golf everyday and focused on training, fundamentals, and every aspect of the game...maybe I'd have a chance of teeing it up with the big guys.

So what are the fundamentals of the spiritual life? What is the equivalent of hitting the range when pursuing holiness? And what kind of "game" could we play/live if we got a serious GRIP on the God-following life? I want to be sure to indicate here that attending church and being a warm body in the over-programmed agenda of what is being passed off as "church" is not synonymous at all with what I think of as the "God-following life."

But a little closer to home for me right now is this question...why do we flirt with the "hazards" so much. I have trouble playing it smart on the course and laying up when I can set up a great second shot. And those times when you're buried in life's bunker and can't see out of the "pot" it's easy to keep whacking the ball into the lip and end up right back where you started. Sometimes we need a free drop, eh? That's grace!

Simmering Sunday

Yeah...you could say I'm simmering. Not boiling. Not chilling. Simmering.

Simmering is good I think. Processing life with just enough heat applied to bring out the flavor and aroma. As I spend some time with my various weblogationships, I am encouraged and inspired. I see and sense so many journeying towards the same thing...the truth, the divine, the significant, the soul, a centered life.

I believe that God is revealing these things to us in unique ways and strange places. There is a great stirring of life which is simmering under the surface of the institutionalized, anesthetized, traumatized, and spiritualized.

Hope...

Rest...

Peace...

Compassion...

Community...

Love...for self...for neighbor...for God...

Check out this link for an interesting piece by the creator of Veggie Tales. It's a fairly accurate discussion of some culture shift over the past decade or so. Give yourself about ten minutes to read it in full...or just download it and read it later! http://www.yale.edu/faith/downloads/thl_vischer.pdf

A Manic Monday

Sounds like a song from my adolescence...which I am fortunately trapped in!

I'm stumbling across so many things that I want to read, investigate, and respond to. Unfortunately, I have two final exams, a twelve-page paper, a five-page paper, and a couple hundred pages to read...for Wednesday!

So check back in next week!

Shalom...peace out...blessings...ta ta...and later alligator,

Chris

check this article out at www.msnbc.com

Wednesday’s Wisdom

Perhaps it would be wise for us to remove the Ten Commandments and other Christian or religious symbols from government and public properties?! I was just reading a front (web) page “article” on www.msnbc.com regarding all the Supreme Court discussions of cases like the one in Texas, Kentucky, and other states being battled out in our courtrooms.

The article cites a poll statistic revealing that 76% of Americans agree with the displays. I wonder what would happen if 76% of Americans would LIVE by them?!

Also fresh on my mind is a somewhat humorous response I sent to my Dad who pastors a small rural congregation in Indiana. He jokingly suggested that he knew of a church I might fit into if we decided to move to that area. I almost laughed out loud because I’m convinced that there are very few churches that I fit into in my current frame of mind, politics, and spirituality. As I was sharing with my Dad why I feel this is the case...I pushed the envelope a bit and suggested to him that the best thing that could happen to the church in America is the removal of our freedom of worship. That would certainly clear up some issues on church and state wouldn’t it?!

I believe that if the true religion of America (secular humanism) was honestly acknowledged, Christianity might be rediscovered in ways which would radically transform the way that we engage our world on a daily basis.

A Tumultuous Tuesday

I suppose "tumult" might be a bit of an exaggeration. I am not experiencing "violent or overwhelming turbulence or upheaval." (Merriam-Webster) I don't know why I'm quoting the dictionary today...as if you don't know the meaning of tumult! I kind of get tired of hearing Webster quoted...especially on Sunday mornings! (just a little pet peeve I guess)

Tuesday's are always somewhat tumultuous for me though. It's the day before my LONG day of classes up at Ashland. For those of you in school...I know you feel my pain and identify with me all too well. But halle-flippin-lujah! I have only twelve weeks of school remaining and my masters degree is finished. In the word/s of Christ...teleostai...it is finished (or will be soon).

But that reminds me of a deeper tumult to be reflecting on today. I am still trying to keep the season of Lent and an attitude of reflection and repentance in the front lobe of my mind. Even as I was reading something today during a quiet time at Starbucks, I was reminded of Christ's suffering for us. I was also reminded by the likes of St. John of the Cross and Henri Nouwen that we all at times experience seasons of suffering. Whether you call it the "dark night of the soul," the "ministry of absence," or just a personal desert...be encouraged that Christ is near...even in the darkness...He knows all about pain and suffering.

Even when life is good (so to speak) I am so encouraged to know God is near at all times...because we're all just a blink away from the "dark night..."

A Sabbath of Sunday's Sundries

What are we doing with the concept of Sabbath? I remember being raised with a certain respectful conditioning towards the Sabbath. There were always particular things which just weren't appropriate for the sabbath (working, shopping, certain recreational activities, etc). In fact, I still feel a significant amount of guilt if I play a round of golf on Sunday. Last year I mowed my lawn one time on a Sunday because I knew it might be a couple of weeks before I could get to it again...more guilt!

Now I'm beginning to think that "sabbath" should be a more dynamic concept that we apply to our lives rather than a strict application to one day of the week. Certainly our culture has lost most of its respect for the sabbath as an off-limits day for activity. As a youth pastor, I witnessed the gradual use of Sunday for sporting events, school programs, practices and many other urgent activities. And from a commercial standpoint, although there are many retail stores and businesses which have shortened their hours on Sundays, I don't think it has anything to do with a faith-based conviction. It probably has more to do with marketing and sales trends.

But the great tragedy of losing an understanding of the Sabbath is the toll taken on individuals and families from an emotional and physical standpoint as well as a spiritual impact. As I serve lattes and Latin grown coffees on Monday morning, I observe that people are typically as worn out from their weekends as they are from their work weeks. The concept of sabbath is a primarily biblical, yet quite practical mandate for rest and health. I would link this to our need for pursuing simplicity as well. It will be very difficult to apply the concept of sabbath (whether it's a Sunday or Thursday or whenever) until we trim and truncate our obese schedules.

Saturday’s Soliloquy

Soliloqy:
1 : the act of talking to oneself
2 : a dramatic monologue that gives the illusion of being a series of unspoken reflections

These definitions fit my blog purpose perfectly today.

I rose quite early today (5:00 a.m.) with several hours before my first scheduled moment. So I showered and made myself presentable before taking a seat in my magic wardrobe. It feels like that sometimes...like I’m pushing past the coats and closet clutter towards a magic wood...like Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia. And somedays I walk in only to encounter walls, limits, and unimaginative moments. Other times I push through and find myself walking into a different place...a place of mystery, majesty, and more!

That’s what happened today...and I sat in the early morning silence. Centering my thoughts on Christ.

I am eager for the sound of crickets again...eager for the landscape to be resurrected by the Spirit of Spring. I want to get on my bike and ride fifty miles with the wind on my face and the sun on my back. I want to roll on the soft grassy earth with my two little girls. I’m ready to venture back across the lake with Jess in search of the blue herons. Just a few more weary days and then...

Friday Fruition

I was chastized earlier this week for introducing the allure of alliteration only to deviously disappoint within days of the dastardly deed.

So let's try to get back into that mode and method of meditative musing!

Enough is enough, eh?!

Anyway...Friday's are a great day for reflecting on the week's achievements and I must admit a sense of fruition as I take time to evaluate the past few days. As I have mentioned before, there seems to be a direct correlation between the level of simplicity of one's existence and the level of satisfaction we experience from day to day.

Religion As Neurosis

“I think that religion stops people from thinking.”

Is that statement self-contradicting? Religion obviously has Bill Maher thinking! That’s who made the above statement in an interview on Fox’s Scarborough County whatever. I’ll put a link below if you’d like to read more of his statements.

My first reaction to his words were kind of defensive and reactionary. As I think a little more about what he is saying, I feel a sense of pity because his alleged rationality is blinding him from seeing the truth about spiritual things. I would have to say that “religion” causes me to think quite a bit. And having started my college education with a double major in chemistry and physics, I also consider myself to have some great affection for science and the empirical method. But I’m not sure I’d be thinking very deeply at all if it were not for my evangelical faith-based perspective.

Unfortunately, I think that Maher is probably correct when he predicts that the influence of evangelicals will wane in the future. One can already observe that America is following the pattern of Europe’s transition towards being a post-Christian environment.

Another unfortunate partial-truth that the political humorist touches on is that many evangelicals, in fact, do not think. And that is detrimental to Christ’s Kingdom and mission. If the church is going to be relevant to the surrounding culture, a great deal of thinking needs to take place.

Here’s a link to the article...what do you think?

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=42906

Tuesday's Tirade

Actually, I don't have a long protracted speech with censorious language...but the phrase sounded pretty good, don't you think?

My "tirade" for today would simply be for Christians to carefully represent Christ! One of the most unfortunate things I have learned while in the coffeeshop environment is that people have no shortage of personal experiences with Christians who have poorly portrayed Christ. Now none of us are perfect...that's not what I'm getting at. But for heaven's sake (literally), count the cost and represent!

I'm reading a couple of George Hunter books right now: Celtic Way of Evangelism and Radical Outreach. I finshed the first and am about half-way thru the second. Good stuff. Although...I heard him in person recently and he didn't speak very highly of the emergent church stuff. I think it was either out of innocent ignorance or fear of "missing" something which might impact his consulting career. I don't know?! But it has caused me to read him with a bit of caution. That said...his books are still good reads.

Well, I am getting hungry! How 'bout a Bavarian Cream Danish?!
(Just kidding)

Monday Morning Musings

Do you ever have those days in which you feel like you could walk through a barrage of bullets and emerge unscathed? Okay...me neither! But still...I must attribute where I'm at in the journey at this moment to the unmerited favor of God.

Some of you know this already, but I am in the midst of an extended fast. I don't share that for any kind of attention but for understanding. You will understand the underlying spiritual situation from which I'll be blogging in the next few days.

I am abstaining from any kind of "pure" or solid food. The only things I'm ingesting are water, juices, and an occasional herbal tea (for warmth mainly). The physical effects of fasting are very intriguing. But the spirital benefits of the fast are what's really got me jazzed. Obviously, I'm at a peek emotional moment right now. Within hours I could "crash" and be begging God to release me so I can run over to Chipotle. But I believe God has some very serious reasons for motivating me to fast during this Lenten season.

Lent (as I was reading from my brother's blog...check it out http://www.indychurch.org/archives/2005/02/this-thing-called-lent/

As I was saying....Lent is a time of preparation. It's a traditional time in which many Christians decide to give something up for a season. The question is all about motivation though. And that's what I'm still discovering...so I'll let you know when I stumble upon it. But I basically think this season should tune us in to the culture and compassion of Christ, that we might be an expression of that in the lives of others.

Following a Subversive Jesus

I was having a conversation with two good friends recently and brought up the point that Jesus was so subversive to the established church of his day. Most of the church (synagogue/temple) leaders were quite irritated and annoyed with his message and his methods. As I reflect on that, I wonder how Jesus would rub the established church of our day. Of course, the phrase "established church" is perhaps not so easily defined today as it would have been in the first century AD, but I think some analogy is still possible. But I keep asking myself what Jesus' day-to-day ministry would look like in our present culture and environment? Not so much "what would Jesus do" but where would Jesus be? How would Jesus be interacting with our churches?

I honestly don't want to ask this question or draw these analogies simply for an excuse to be subversive. But I'm wondering...if the Kingdom demands that we subvert some of the less-than-Biblical practices of the established religous context, does that mean that we must operate outside the context of those particular congregations or churches? I guess I'm beginning to have this image in my mind of treating the church (institution/program/building) as a sort of base of operation, but taking the liberty to engage in the Biblical mission and mandates of disciple-making, baptism, fellowship, etc in some out-of-the-box ways.

Or is this just a compromise which allows me to keep a foot in both worlds? I truly believe that God is stirring up a generation of missional subversives who are struggling with whether to attempt a kind of reform of the church or to simply cut the strings and "plant" the seeds in richer soil. The majority of my peers in ministry seem to be wrestling with these kinds of issues. Can following Jesus take you away from the church (the established institution)?

40 Days of Something!

That last picture I posted is so darn cute I almost hate to scoot it down the page! But I just have to say something about the next 40 days. It's about Lent NOT Rick Warren! But I am going to supplement the journey with Warren's book since I already own a copy. Hopefully I won't be too critical. But seriously...the next 40 Days are going to be a serious Spiritual Quest for me. That's really all I want to say for now. But on Easter Sunday I hope to be in a richer place! I'd be curious to know what kinds of experiences have been the most spiritually formative in your lives?

We interrupt this blog with the following message: This daddy loves his girls! Jessica is 5 (on the left) and Jaquelyn is nearly 2 (on the right).

Church-Centered or God-Centered

Now the title of this entry assumes a distinction. Ideally, there would be no distinction would there? But most of us know (especially those in ministry) that individuals can be quite involved in the life and programs of the church without being intimately connected to God in Christ. And many (or most) are quite content for this condition to continue.

I was challenged today by a friend's comment to one of my previous entries. He, and others, have interpreted some of my statements as being anti-church. So I just want to share my response here in order to clear up my approach to ecclesiology. I replied...

...Yes, the Church is and will be the "bride of Christ." But the church (local and
denominational expressions) is not always the same as the Church. What else
could Jesus mean by his indictment...many will say to me "Lord, Lord..." I'm
sure he meant it in an individualistic way. But it would take little exegetical
stretching to apply it in a corporate sense as well.

I am literally a fourth generation pastor in the Church of the Nazarene. I am in no hurry to turn my back on that heritage. But I certainly don't believe for a moment that even 80% of our churches are primarily committed to the missional task of
Matthew 28 and Acts 1:8.

So hopefully you can see from that response that I am committed to the "Church" in it's philosophical and authentic forms. I am not committed to expressions of church which do not live up to biblical missional expectations. That is NOT to say I'm looking for a "perfect" church. But I am looking for a community of sojourners who are willing to experiment and evangelize in ways which might mirror the model of Christ who certainly stirred up defensive reactions from the "church" of his day.

I am not trying to stir up trouble, but stir up discussion. If you have ANYTHING to add to the discussion, please chime in. The more voices which are heard, the more complete our mosaic of public opinion will be. However, all of our voices might need to yield (mine included) to THE VOICE of God's opinion.

Life may be a series of roasting processes...especially in the life of this Bean! I begin my new role with Starbucks in a few days and have about five more intense weeks of this quarter left in my masters classes...which will finally come to an end on June 4th. Perhaps then I can get back to some regular blogging!? I miss it.

The Back BLOG Burner

Unfortunately, sometimes the blogging has to take a backseat to life! I'm sure you all know what I mean. Starbucks, School, and Sickness are all on the frontburner at the moment. As soon as I can get some Greek out of the way, I'll be back. I can still keep up with your stuff though, so just point me in the right direction.

Chris

The Road Less Traveled: Detour

I’ve never been diagnosed ADD but you can probably tell by my blogging style that I have some tendencies in that direction, eh?!

Well, I just read something off of Big Brother’s blog (that’s not a reference to George Orwell’s writing) which really spotlighted another vista on this journey up the mountain imagery. Here’s the quote...it’s from Henry Nouwen’s book In the Name of Jesus...

“Christian leaders cannot simply be persons who have well-informed opinions about the burning issues of our time. Their leadership must be rooted in the permanent, intimate relationship with the incarnate Word, Jesus, and they need to find there the source for their words, advice, and guidance....Dealing with burning issues easily leads to divisiveness because, before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject. But when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be
possible to remain flexible but not relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle, and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative.

"To me, that last sentence captures many of my struggles with the church’s expression of its mission over the past few years. (My struggle began 2 or 3 years ago...the church in general has struggled with this problem since its inception) To revert back to the image of the mountain, I believe our goal is to ascend towards God. Mountains have always been thought of as holy places and locations where accessibility to the divine is increased. Now I don’t want to confuse anyone to think I’m condoning some kind of religious pluralism...certainly not. There’s only one mountain worth climbing. There are other mountains (religions and paths to the divine) but you have to be on the right mountain to get to the Creator God.

But I’m afraid what the church often does is say, “You have to go up the mountain this way!” There’s a rigidity and inflexibility (as Nouwen points out) which turns the journey into a static route. Here’s where the analogy breaks down a bit...somewhere along the way, the church gets comfortable at a certain altitude or level spot and mistakenly assumes they’ve arrived.

I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone. My attempts at continuing to process my own journey and its irregularities push me to find adequate expressions. I’ll keep trying!

In stark contrast to the lush countryside of Ecuador, the majestic snow-capped peak of Chimborazo beckons one to ascend!

The Road Less Traveled By: Part 2

Now...if you can still see the picture of me standing a few miles from the snow-capped volcano, (scroll down a bit perhaps to previous post) notice the number of people you see headed towards the ominous summit. Let me backtrack a bit...I was in Ecuador with about 150 other people for a conference. Towards the end of the week, we began planning a few side excursions in order to experience some of the local attractions. Basically, we had about two days after meetings were over. On the first day, we chartered a couple of buses and visited a few local markets. We drove around Quito, the capital, and then to “el mitad del mundo” (the middle of the world) where you can stand on the equator and have one foot in each hemisphere. These were all the typical tourist places for us to be. But as we were driving around I could see snow-capped mountains...volcanoes even...in the distance. And I was drawn to them. Finally I asked one of the locals who was traveling with us if he had ever hiked up one of the volcanoes. His reply (in Spanish) had the kind of tone you’d hear when someone incredulously replies...well of course not! But he put me in touch with someone else in the group who had been.

So I began to hint around about this potential adventure. Most replied with comments like... “Wow! That would be cool! It sounds dangerous though.” Others just decided there wasn’t enough time or it sounded like too much effort. Then there were others who just flat out said “Oh, you can’t do that! It’s not safe. The leadership wouldn’t approve.” So the more I prodded, the more people nodded...no thanks. Finally, I found three others who were willing to make the trip with me. So early in the morning, we hopped on a bus to downtown Quito in order to catch another bus out of town.

I’ll save the rest of the story for later, but it’s interesting to notice some parallels already. For the past couple of years, I have been busy doing all the expected things and going to the usual places. But occasionally, I would look past the immediate context or task and catch a glimpse of something bigger...something a little ominous yet inviting. In the distance I could see the mountain. I began to talk to other people about the mountain and some would agree that it looked very adventurous and inviting. But few seemed to want to commit to such a journey. The more I toured the same attractions over and over, the more I began to be distracted by the mountain and drawn to its rugged unpredictable terrain. Soon I knew that it was just a matter of time before I left the comfortable climate and landscape for the mysterious mountain and the journey for which I was created. (The picture above this post is a photo I took of Chimborazo, the other major volcano in Ecuador. Chimborazo is a bit higher than Cotopaxi but inactive. So Cotopaxi is said to be the highest active volcano in the world!)