Speaking of Floods

A friend in youth ministry will be traveling with me to New Orleans and the gulf coast area next weekend. The desire to contribute in some way to relief efforts from the summer's hurricanes has been gnawing at me for the past few months. So I'm very excited to spend some time in the area and decide who we might partner with to lend a hand.

We had the opportunity to sign our students up for a couple of other mission trip options, but I've not felt good about any of them. One of the reasons for this has been a sense that so many mission trips and service projects turn out to be token conscience-comforting endeavors which fail to truly change our perspective of what it means to participate in community with people in need. I will also be meeting with an individual in the coming week who pastors a congregation in the heart of Dayton. For months now I've had a heavy sense of mission towards the community in which this church exists. I think a better way to approach missions and service is to develop an ongoing relationship with a group of people whose lives become woven into the fabric of our own. Not just token drive-by missions I want our students to develop a Kingdom lifestyle of meeting needs.

Rivers & Floods: I heard a great description of leadership over the past weekend which continues to soak my mind with the need for some change. The basic concept implies that many people are floods. Their lives are not channeled in one direction and purpose (like a river) but just heap up like a flood that has no real direction. My life is certainly in a flood stage right now. I'm distracted with personal financial issues, thoughts of future career and education, the current demands and expectations on my time and work, along with a gnawing absence of authentic community and relationships for our family. For purposes of ministry, family health, and personal peace...I need to channel my energy and focus in a specific Spirit-initiated direction. For various reasons, I have been unable to focus and forge ahead emotionally and spiritually. Let's just drive a stake in the ground, heap up a pile of stones and mark this point in the journey as a landmark of new beginnings. A life that floods its boundaries and moves in every possible direction causes damage in many ways. A river is useful...a resource for those around it...a means of getting from one place to another. That sounds a little more like it to me. It's been awhile since I've had a moment of clarity like this.

Flames of Heaven

I've been listening to Rob Bell lately and one of his messages has really challenged me. Actually, most of his teaching challenges, inspires, and enlightens me on various levels. If you've never heard of the guy, check out his website and you can download some mp3 teachings or just check out the Mars Hill community.

Anyway, the challenge has to do with the Kingdom of Heaven (not the movie) crashing into earth (our present kingdom) and whether or not that would be a good thing...as to its impact on the current state of affairs. And the Jewish concept of heaven was less geographical than it was an ideological reality. That's why it makes so much sense that the Kingdom could be right now and not just an eschatological concept or event.

The reason I find this so challenging is because I think most of us (evangelical church-immersed christians) overestimate how pleased God is with current level at which we're living out the Kingdom. We're quick to identify with Jesus and echo words of judgment for pharisees, religious biggots, and the like...but just how painful would it be if the Kingdom came crashing into my life right now. Would Jesus encounter me as a good-intentioned disciple who just needs to make some minor adjustments? Or would he start throwing things, cracking the whip and condemning my pathetic misguided attempts at Kingdom life? I just think we might often give ourselves too much credit. Why else would Christianity and the Church look so different from New Testament stuff?

My 100th Post

I had one of those kinds of days today which kind of lights your fire, you know? There are some exciting things going on...but at the same time...there's a chance some things just stagnate and start molding so to speak. But one of the things I realized, even as I was challenging students, is that our attitude and response to circumstances and to other people gigantically factors into how hopeful we feel about the immediate future.

There is such a thin line between frustration and fervor...despair and delight...anxiety and anticipation!

When you're on the wrong side of that equilibrium, how does one generate the emotional energy to alter attitude? Is it merely an act of the will? Is it chemical or biological? Is it an act of God...the Spirit's nudge on just the right endorphin?!

Cutting It Close

Well, I'm just a few hours away from potentially ruining my perfect workout attendance streak. Do I just punish myself for sleeping in by hitting the weights at 9pm or just combine today's weight training with tomorrow mornings aerobic thing? I guess we'll see what happens when I get home in about an hour.

I think it would be so much easier to stay in shape and exercise if we didn't have jobs, family, and pursuits of leisure all getting in the way.

And it would be easier to eat right if there were some healthy organic fast food restraunts out there. There's an idea...although the combo meal would jump from about $5 to $12 or $15 I imagine. But ocassionally, it might be worth it...driving thru for some Balsamic Salmon Salad or a BBQ Chicken Pita Pizza...with a side of low-fat cottage cheese.

Distractions

So I just shared a message/talk with a bunch of teenagers in Pennsylvania urging them to live a "one thing" life...free of distractions. That's obviously wishful thinking for any of us, but I find myself in that situation again...with a desire to cut out distractions and surplus activity in exchange for margin, peace, rest, community, focus, etc. It took me all of about 2 months to fall into the same grinding routine which characterized life and ministry pre-Starbucks. Will I have to return to my barista calling to put things back into order?!

As for my health and fitness efforts...I've done great on the workout/exercise routine. It's the 6 smaller meals a day I'm struggling with. I have no problem eating 6 times a day, but it's the 'smaller' part that's giving me fits. Overall though, I've certainly been eating a much better selection of healthy foods and my energy level, attitude, and morale is all quite high. One week down and eleven to go.

Tugging the Hamstrings

Dang'it...who knew dumbbell lunges would be so painful. I thought the lower-body workout day would be the easiest. I hope those strings on the back of my legs don't pop.

I haven't been as successful at changing the eating habits as I have been at the workouts, but it's still a gigantic improvement over where I've been the past few weeks.

I love how some "blast from the past" character occasionally drops a comment. That serves up a dish of nostalgia which is always welcome on the menu! Hope all is well! ('ang' and others)

Visited a health food store nearby yesterday...wild stuff! It's only a block away which is cool in case we decide to go all organic. From toothpaste to cat food...what an alternative lifestyle...appealing in a sadistic sort of way.

Well, it's nearing time for my 4th miniature meal of the day.

Good Flesh, Bad Flesh

It's interesting to me how much of a correlation there is between physical and spiritual things. After just two days of taking much better care of my body, the Spirit and the Mind begin to soar. I think we way underestimate this connection as Christians...which is why an obese Christian bigot can rant on some soap box spiritual issue without seeing the hypocrisy. (That came out a little more harshly than it previously existed in my mind, but I favor this footnote over deletion.)

I guess this correlation makes me think a little more deeply about food and eating habits. There must be much more significance to those choices than I've been led to believe to this point. So we need to distinguish between flesh and flesh...sarx and soma maybe? Taking care of the "temple" is not necessarily catering to the "flesh" but cooperating with the Spirit and Mind and the Image.

All that to say...I feel great!

Body for Life

So it's just about time I went through a physical fitness phase again. Typically, I don't get this urge around the new year, but for some reason...the timing is just about right. I've been feeling pretty negative about my body, energy level, waistline, and health in general for the past couple of months. Now I've reached that point where you finally decide..."I'm sick of this!" I went to put on a pair of pants on Sunday morning two weeks ago and couldn't even get the snaps close enough to see each other. I threw the pants to the floor in disgust. I attempted to briskly jog a short distance two days ago and when I got inside, someone commented "Were you running?" The truth is "no"...what I attempted could not be categorized as running, but the way my body & breathing were reacting, you would've thought I just finished a 10k. Anyway, it's not just physical discipline that is called for. My neglect of healthy nutrition and exercise is symptomatic of a lack of discipline in other areas as well. The spirit, emotions, mind, finances...all seem to rise and fall together to an extent.

As we were thrift store hopping the other day (which I'm kind of new to, but now will never pay retail prices again!), I came across a book called Body for Life for $.99. I couldn't resist. It looked kind of like all the other get fit, think positively kinds of books with corny before and after pictures inside the front cover. But I bought it anyway...and so far...it's been a great motivation. Don't worry...whether you like it or not...I'll keep you posted on the progress. So far, I have perfect attendance at my 6-day per week workout sessions. But that would certainly be due to the fact that it's day 1 of 84! If nothing else, I'll be in a little better shape when the cycling season comes around and it's time to ride across Indiana again!

"Merry Christmas" Defines Us?

In one of my other blogs (xanga), I was just responding to a friendly critique of my previous post. The comment was made...

Just to throw some "fuel on the fire" and allow me to play devil's
advocate; is this really an "either/or" thing? Can our zeal not be about the
issues of servanthood, social justice and "reclaiming christian territory"
through the protection of tradition? Does tradition have no place in the life of
a Christ follower?
I believe whole-heartedly in servanthood (I couldn't call
myself a "Christian" and not serve.) and I have long been a proponent of social
causes (that's partly the reason for my degree in psychology and the length of
service in Children Services. I believe that the church should be the first line
in addressing issues of social concern and welfare, NOT "the government" but, at
the same time, I believe we just might have a duty to hold to that which defines
us within culture...
Is nothing sacred? Is everything secular? Should there
be no line between the two. What defines them if not our approach to the
particulars??

I don't see a lot of examples in the Scripture where Christ was willing to fight a battle over words and "traditional" sentiment (merry christmas). We won't know Christians by..."they're the ones who buck the system and say Merry Christmas" but because of their love for one another and their redemptive presence in the community.

This whole Pennsylvania case over intelligent design is a biggie too. Why do we need to have our view of God, creation, and intelligent design validated by curriculum boards and legislatures? Can't we be Kingdom-minded and affirm the truth of what is already taught (not necessarily validating it completely mind you) and use that as the starting point for leading others towards ultimate Truth?

On the other hand...I'm not too thrilled that my first grader can cut, paste, color, and learn all about Hannukah...but not be allowed to appreciate or learn about Christian traditions of celebrating Christmas simultaneously. That's problematic for me.

The Holy War of Words Is On

I was just reading a friends blog as he ripped into a beautiful rant against James Dobson and a variety of other topics. I won't point you to his exact words since I did not ask permission, but he stirred my mind a bit more on some of these topics over which I've been stewing for several weeks. And it has to do with the way in which a great many Christians are responding to the anti-"Merry Christmas" crowd.

Don't get me totally wrong here (I guess I added that for all my Dobson-loving friends and family memebers) ...I can appreciate a small amount of the zeal with which some Christians are crusading (intentional negative connotation) against the "Happy Holidays" agenda. But the more I think about it, the more stirred up I become and want to say "what do you expect?" Does anyone honestly believe that Christ is the focus of Christmas in America?! And he has not been the focus for a very long time...if ever. Even in my own family, we attend services...adore the nativity scenes...and pre-empt our gift-opening orgy with a reading of the Christmas story...but does that Christianize all the materialism and self-centered behavior we call the Christmas season?

If we're going to reclaim some "christian" territory...let it have less to do semantics and more to do with servanthood and social justice. Do you think fighting this battle over Christmas greetings is going to make a positive and eternal impact on our communities for the Kingdom? Really?! It's time for the church to reclaim a biblical agenda and not a self-serving agenda.

Community of Thin Spots

In a Celtic understanding of spirituality, there exists "thin spots" which offer the greatest potential for experiencing the Divine. Celtic Christians adopted this understanding which can be seen in the many stone crosses and the location of abbeys near the mountains or the sea. These were seen as the "thin spots" where the barrier between natural and spiritual realms were thinnest. Another way in which the Celtic Christians worked out this concept was in the formation of monastic communities. These communities became centers of spiritual formation, education, prayer, and ministry.

I am currently attempting to define the concept of biblical community and re-imagine what it might look like in the lives of middle and high school students. A difficulty I'm finding in this process however is the intangible and ambiguous nature of community. I want to define it in terms of our relationships. But we experience varying levels of community within our interactions with others. And as I read Bonhoeffer's Life Together, I'm cautioned by his caveat that Christian community is completely based on our common experience of God's grace in and through Jesus Christ. His caution is especially not to expect too much from community or make it into something that is more social than spiritual (like warm fuzzies I suppose).

Why is this such a difficult concept to grasp and explain? Could it be that I've only had fleeting glimpses and experiences of true biblical community? That I don't even understand it from personal experience or present immersion? A part of me is somewhat timid about pushing this idea to its ultimate conclusion I must admit. I think to seriously live Life Together and teach others to do the same could mean a complete and radical interpretation of what youth ministry looks like. But I'm simultaneously intrigued with that thought...since one of the fears I have is that without a major change of paradigm, the present "machine" of youth ministry will just continue to produce idividualistic, isolated, consumer-minded Christians who continue to be in motion without meaning.

I'd love to hear some more thoughts on community...what it is? ...what it isn't? ...what it might look like at various stages of life and development?

Blogesthesia

I find myself anestetized and somewhat cynical as I read blogs and determine whether or not there's anything substantive for me to say today. That little piece of information will explain the infrequency of my posts and comments of late. It is very unfortunate since I am currently immersed in a few personal and ministerial struggles. These predicaments are quite unrelated, but I think we all know how emotional stress, physical fatigue, and spiritual dismay can overlap and compound one another.

One of the problems I am all too aware of is my need to unplug from the matrix of ministry for a few days and retreat. So weather permitting (or not permitting) I plan to lightly load the Gregory pack and take off on a few trails for a couple of days next week. Just the thought of the experience and anticipated solitude brings a surge of endorphins to my system. Hopefully I will have something worth sharing soon.

For those who would...please pray for a personal matter which is crushing us in several ways. We desperately need our house in Columbus to sell or for some amicable financial solution to present itself. Thank you!

What Would Jesus Cut?

In a weekly e-zine article I receive from www.sojo.net Jim Wallis includes this statement:

"Budgets are moral documents, and they reflect our national priorities and values."

Issues of economics were my biggest sticking point with Bush in the last election. Perhaps it had something to do with my Starbucks experience, but I came very close to casting my vote for John Kerry precisely on this point. The title of the above article which I referenced was something like...The Death of Compassionate Conservatism. And I must admit that current issues of social concern seem to be receiving inadequate attention from the religious right.

And I've been one to make the argument for allowing the church to tackle some of these needs rather than the government, but let's be honest...if 40,000 students get cut from a reduced-lunch program at their schools, our churches won't do squat about it!

Urgent Care, BP, and Parenting

I have often been accused of being one of those guys who shrugs a shoulder of apathy towards physical pain, sickness, and general issues of health. So after 3 separate injuries to my right foot over a span of about 2 months, I finally decided to visit Urgent Care this past week (since we don't have a family physician in Dayton yet). Although I have often been frustrated by the cycle of...Visit doctor--pay too much--doctor can't help...scenario, I yielded to what seemed like common sense and spent two hours and who knows how much money this past Tuesday evening getting some x-rays and mediocre medical care. The funny thing is, something turned up on the x-ray which the doctor was concerned about and it was nowhere near the area where my pain was. Fortunately, I did get to spend some time with Don Miller soaking in some more of his christian spirituality anectdotes. The other big surprise that evening was my BP (blood pressure of course). The numbers were quite a ways above any I've generated in the past. Which leads me to the last titular issue.

Parenting! Until about 2 months ago...I felt like a pretty good dad. I mean, sure, there's always room for improvement, but overall, no major dysfunction. However, after the last few weeks, I wouldn't be surprised to catch my girls blogging behind my back on mydadsucks.com We are in a down-right grueling phase or something. Fortunately, I suppose, it's not just me. Deb is experiencing the same kind of stuff. Obviuosly, the trauma of our recent relocation has taken a toll...but good grief! I know of plenty of other families who have bounced around with ministry, military, or whatever...and even they're a bit surprised at some of the things we're going through. So combining those issues with the demands of full-time youth ministry at a level I've never experienced before...and bingo...viola...high blood pressure?? I guess I'm getting to the age where you have to start thinking seriously about your health. What a bummer.

Perception

I find it kind of interesting that our perception of time can vary so greatly depending on our circumstances. For instance...I have had some weeks recently that seemed to fly by. Whether it was the level of satisfaction I experienced on the job, at home, in spending time with people, etc...from the start of the week on Monday (I know some people think of Sunday as the first day of the week...but my mind just doesn't break it down that way) to the middle of my day-off on Friday...I would just about swear that only 2 or 3 days worth of time had registered mentally. Other times (like this week), from 8am Monday until this moment (Wednesday evening at about 8:45pm) seemed to take about 8 days worth of energy and time. Sheesh! I just think it might be an interesting study for someone to write a doctoral dissertation about. So keep that in mind for those pursuing their Ph.D. anytime soon.
I guess it's been a long week because of some difficult conversations and some intensely stressful personal situations. When your emotions are fully engaged...the battery drains much more quickly. Fortunately, I've been able to spend some time with one who has endured much more than I ever will in this arena of emotion and psychological strain. The Gethsemane scene from the Passion of the Christ comes to mind. I'm reminded all I need is a little time in a "green pasture" or near some "quiet waters." Anybody know the way to one of those?

Sporadic Spiritual Spin

Many of you know that I have a rare condition known as alliteritus. I feel the sickening need to alliterate whenever possible. I've thought about counseling, hypnosis, inner healing prayer...but then again...perhaps it's just my "thorn of the flesh."

Seriously, though...I was just blogging on Xanga which is where I connect more with students in our youth ministry. Here's what I was saying in that blog-arena...

"I have another question...selfishly motivated a bit...but worth considering I think. What are the ways in which we most deeply connect with God...the Divine...the Creator...Heavenly Father...the Spirit...the Son...etc? I would certainly be the first to admit that in the pursuit of connectedness with God...some days (weeks, months, even years) are better than others.
Lately, I tend to really connect with God in a variety of ways. Cycling for a few strenuous hours seems to position me to really converse with God and reflect on life. Just sitting back on this sweet couch in my office with a hot cup of sumatra seems to provide a God-friendly moment. Chasing my daughter around the tennis net while Deb and I try recreate nostalgic courtship moments (pun alert) gives me this sense of wholeness and purpose. Watching a room full of students authentically worship God around the glow of candle light...that definitely connects me with my creator.
The problem is...we tend to unplug ourselves from God as much as we plug into Him creating this frustrating cycle of sporadic spiritual spin...argh! (that's an old comic book word) So back to my question...what are the ways in which you deeply connect with God and stay connected?"

And I have a tendency to deal with the same issues personally as I'm processing them in the context of ministry (with students or others). One of the greatest challenges of ministry in the context of speaking and teaching others is what I would call internalization. In order to passionately communicate a truth or principle to someone else, I have to own it...believe it...consume it...and live it. So I'm wrestling with this issue of deeply connecting with God. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of spiritual disciplines and contemplative practices for positioning us to encounter God...but there's also a bit of mystery in it. I hesitate to give anyone the idea that you can follow these 5 steps and presto...intimacy with God.

Anyone have some different thoughts on this thought of deeply connecting with God and helping others do the same?

Candy-Coated Christianity

I was just surfing around and found Erwin Mcmanus' new project. The tagline for the book is "the greatest enemy to the movement of Jesus Christ is Christianity." As I was admiring someone else's journey the other day, it occurred to me that Jesus might be quite ticked off about what is passing for Christianity these days. It forces me to evaluate my own "version" of Christianity as well.

AIDs...poverty...hunger...injustice...aiding victims of natural disasters...there are plenty of opportunities to follow the example of Christ. Where does living a comfortable middle-class existence fit into all of that?

But on the other hand...all I know to do is faithfully live out the Kingdom as I know it and experience it right now. Perhaps encouraging the Kingdom life in others will bring me closer and closer to living it myself. We get so easily entrenched in the culture and enslaved to our lifestyles with its paralyzing debt and materialistic ambitions. Or is that just me? What would we do for the Kingdom if we were free from those encumberances?

HTML Humility

Honestly...I felt checked by the Spirit to consider following up my last post with an apology. As I read back over it...I can tell my spirit was not in step with the Spirit. Thanks for your comment, DB!

I suppose that reaffirms some of the limitations of this medium of communication though. Perhaps it's a little too easy to rant and rave excessively.

Well, I'm thankful for a chance to hang out with Stetler today and hear some great thoughts from the likes of NT Wright, Brueggeman, and Newbigin (along with Eric of course). I celebrate the journey of those I see living out a radically re-imagined way to be human.

As I've re-entered the world of professional ministry...the battle for margin and balance rages.

Blog Blockage

As you can probably tell from the sporadic frequency of my last few posts, I'm experiencing some kind of bloggers block.

Actually, I just replied to a blog that really set me off and it's got me wondering if this is a valid use of time. In a recent conversation with a friend who boldly questions the value of this form of communication, he referred to most of the blogs he reads as some form of intellectual masturbation. Now if you can thoughtfully consider that phrase for a moment without being offended or defensive, you might have to agree that there's certainly some truth in that.

I know there have been times when I struggle over the wording or vocabulary in my post because of the response I'm trying to affect or produce. Or I labor over the content of my post to be sure that it's more substantial than the mention of daily rituals and events.

The other issue causing me to rant a bit here is the utter lack of accountability and careless spewing of words which passes for profundity. If things are being said in a blog which are not preceded by a willingness to share the same information in person, then stop wasting everyone's time and go do the right thing.

I'll stop before I get any more stirred up. But as a community of blogging believers, let's be careful how we malign the church and stir up dissent.