That's a bit what I'm feeling right now. As I break away from some old patterns of relating to God and try to re-learn some things about being a disciple...I can't help but feel like I've been spinning my wheels much of the past ten years. In my times of studying Scripture and looking over some old journal-type things I realize that I'm struggling with many of the same things as I did years ago. Like trusting God...and being able to hear His voice...giving Him ultimatums as I try to determine what He's leading me to do...etc.
It's quite sad to realize that my relationship with God has been very functional and utilitarian over the years. I've been missing the passion of that love relationship God desires from His little yard apes! John 8:47..."the reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God." Ouch!
But now it's difficult to reprioritize the relationship without the lingering sense of...hurry up and connect so I know what to do! I need to find that daily place of "quiet waters" and sanctuary.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Paradise and Politics
I was just catching up on some blogs and stumbled across some good dialogue on BTaylor's blog.
The topic was interesting to me because I had just listened to someone the other day talk about the percentage of people on the planet which he thought would end up in heaven. The guess-timate was 10% or less. As this person went on to express a fairly narrow (fundamental, dogmatic, etc) evangelical Christian perspective...it really roused some passionate feeling within me...namely, anger. Now I'm not wanting to espouse some kind of universalist's theory of atonement...but can we leave some room for God to be gracious here? When Jesus said "I am the way, the truth, and the life..." could it be that there are some ways to come at Christ and Truth apart from traditional Christian processes?
I even had the startling notion or impression that I might not want to identify with a God who would just condemn someone to eternal separation from God because they were born in a muslim nation in Africa rather than in the Bible belt of America?! Which leads into the other topic at BT's blog. And on that one (politics of war etc) I've just got to say...our understanding of the Kingdom and Christianity has gotten WAY too enmeshed in our patriotism.
The topic was interesting to me because I had just listened to someone the other day talk about the percentage of people on the planet which he thought would end up in heaven. The guess-timate was 10% or less. As this person went on to express a fairly narrow (fundamental, dogmatic, etc) evangelical Christian perspective...it really roused some passionate feeling within me...namely, anger. Now I'm not wanting to espouse some kind of universalist's theory of atonement...but can we leave some room for God to be gracious here? When Jesus said "I am the way, the truth, and the life..." could it be that there are some ways to come at Christ and Truth apart from traditional Christian processes?
I even had the startling notion or impression that I might not want to identify with a God who would just condemn someone to eternal separation from God because they were born in a muslim nation in Africa rather than in the Bible belt of America?! Which leads into the other topic at BT's blog. And on that one (politics of war etc) I've just got to say...our understanding of the Kingdom and Christianity has gotten WAY too enmeshed in our patriotism.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Embarassing Confessions
First of all, I'm not going to hit that 200 mile mark this week. Maybe next week! But that isn't my "embarassing confession."
Here it is...so I've been a follower of Christ since I was about five years old. The middle school years were especially turbulent in spiritual ways, but by my freshman year in high school, I was really intent on pursuing God and living a life "worthy of the gospel." There were some serious landmarks and victorious stretches in that journey, but I've experienced something this past week that I'm humbled to admit.
Today will mark a 6-day stretch of fairly uninterrupted spiritual focus. I know that the spiritual life is not measured by checking off boxes of devotions, prayer, scripture reading, church attendance, etc...but the intimacy I've experienced with the Father, Son, and Spirit this week has been intense! Perhaps it indicates that I've finally reached a point of brokenness and despair which has convinced me to, at long last, abandon the remaining bastions of self-centeredness and self-reliance?! Even if that has played a part, I completely realize that this 'turn' is not some kind of self actualization but rather an indication that grace is present and God is at work. Philippians 2:13 says "It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." The Christian life really is about trusting and resting!
The confession??
I can't remember the last time I experienced an entire week of uninterrupted intimacy with God! Why is that embarassing?? Well...I'm a pastor...I've been a Christian for 30 years...I've been attempting to lead others to a place I've not been.
For all those who are grieving for the Palmers...my prayers have been with you. When I received that news, it impacted my spirit deeply. What a personal loss for so many. But what a Kingdom thinker!
Here it is...so I've been a follower of Christ since I was about five years old. The middle school years were especially turbulent in spiritual ways, but by my freshman year in high school, I was really intent on pursuing God and living a life "worthy of the gospel." There were some serious landmarks and victorious stretches in that journey, but I've experienced something this past week that I'm humbled to admit.
Today will mark a 6-day stretch of fairly uninterrupted spiritual focus. I know that the spiritual life is not measured by checking off boxes of devotions, prayer, scripture reading, church attendance, etc...but the intimacy I've experienced with the Father, Son, and Spirit this week has been intense! Perhaps it indicates that I've finally reached a point of brokenness and despair which has convinced me to, at long last, abandon the remaining bastions of self-centeredness and self-reliance?! Even if that has played a part, I completely realize that this 'turn' is not some kind of self actualization but rather an indication that grace is present and God is at work. Philippians 2:13 says "It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." The Christian life really is about trusting and resting!
The confession??
I can't remember the last time I experienced an entire week of uninterrupted intimacy with God! Why is that embarassing?? Well...I'm a pastor...I've been a Christian for 30 years...I've been attempting to lead others to a place I've not been.
For all those who are grieving for the Palmers...my prayers have been with you. When I received that news, it impacted my spirit deeply. What a personal loss for so many. But what a Kingdom thinker!
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