I Guess Wedgies Aren't "PC"

Occasionally I actually read some of the news articles which are linked from my homepage. I suppose it's my version of reading the daily newspaper (which I don't actually do).

One of the articles I read today was about a principal in Montana who was suspended because he gave a senior soccer player a wedgie. Apparently he pulled his jersey over his head and then yanked on the ol' underwear band (aka...the wedgie). Obviously, many people in the community were outraged and demanding his resignation while some had a more humane and forgiving attitude. But I like what the principle himself said about the incident...

He said his first reaction was to resign, but he wanted to "tackle this mess" head on. "I want to live in a world where we don't have to hide when we screw up," he said.

Isn't that our first reaction when we mess up? To run and hide...or disappear for awhile...or move to a new place...or stitch together some fig leaves for clothes.

Good Starbucks News

An encouraging phone call came from my district manager at Starbucks today. I've been offered a position as assistant manager which brings me back to where I left off with Starbucks in Columbus. That's very good news since it means a pay increase and a step closer to getting my own store. I'm really hoping that happens by the end of next summer. I'll try to be a little more patient with the process this time and not bail out when something looks a little "greener." The promotion will take effect in a couple of weeks and most likely mean relocating to a new store. That will mean a bit more of a drive...but the change of scenery will be nice.

Have you ever gotten stuck in the rut of regret?
I'm there.

As I look back and replay the last coupld of years over in my head, I have these massive episodes of "what if?" and "if only..." It makes me sense a connection with those individuals who don't seem able to get beyond something in their past. Typically, I think that happens when people are wronged or victimized in some way...it becomes very difficult to "get over it" and move ahead. For me, it's more of this gnawing sense of how much better our lives (the family) would be had we.... And just to be painfully vulnerable once again (though I often regret that too), I'm holding God mostly responsible. How I begged and prayed for God to give us clear direction and show us some definitive path to follow. All I got was the spiritual version of crickets chirping. So we moved forward with what seemed prudent, spiritual, logical, and the right thing to do. Now I can't seem to deal with how much it sucks. Want to cast doubt on my/our relationship with God at the time as the explanation for the lack of direct communication and guidance? Feel free...but God knows what my heart and motivations have been over the past 15 years! I don't think it's that...I think there's something very sinister going on...and it continues.

Dangit! This post started off so positively too?!

By the way, Brandon...great point about the cup/sleeve thing!

My Achin' Glutes

So I had a great leg workout at Gold's before heading over to Starbucks. Doing that right before an 8-hour shift is not what I'd call ideal timing. But I was glad to get back to the gym after missing a coupld of days. We spent Friday/Saturday with the younger bro and his family in Indy. Good times, I must say!

Tomorrow I am supposed to meet with my District Manager and another DM in the area for a sort of interview. I'm hoping to make the jump back to an assistant manager role for Starbucks. That would sure help our case financially...especially if I can get my store back into the "bonus" realm! Then I would hope to be bumped up to a position as store manager by next summer if not earlier. A year or two as a store manager should be good preparation for becoming a district manager. Then perhaps one more jump up to regional director in 2012 to finish up the Starbucks journey. Should be fun.

In the meantime, I'm very close to finishing my certification with ACE in order to start some personal training on the side. I have to knock out a CPR class next weekend and then take a 3-hour exam in early November. About two more weeks of studying should do the trick. Once I'm certified, I'll either try to start training some clients at Gold's or get connected with another gym in the Norwood/Silverton area. I have a Starbucks connection which could help out a latte!

Now on to spiritual concerns. To follow-up with my last post, let's just say I've taken someone's suggestion to relax a bit and give God and myself some time to adjust to all the transitions we're still navigating. It's a relief to think that I don't have to "fix" this problem immediately. Instead, I'll just take advantage of opportunities to cultivate some community here and there and allow God to work through some relationships and friendships for the time being.

Unfortunately though...I had a difficult worship experience this morning. I'm trying to do what feels to me to be the "right thing" and attend a gathering which I'm not crazy about. I want to give it more time because it does seem to be a good fit for our family as a whole. But I had some issues with the message as well as the worship and the whole environment to be truthful. I'm sure there's a part of me that pretty much wants to be part of a different gathering...so it's hard to be objective. I'll keep trying...so all the Nazarene loyalists will be happy! (just messing with you guys... ;-)

Blessings,
Chris

A Painful Path

I was just catching up with the recent posts of a college friend who found out last week that she has breast cancer. Reading the combination of humor and hurt certainly jolts something within me right now.

What is cancer? I'm obviously no oncologist or remotely educated on the subject, but my basic understanding is that it's the presence of destructive mutated unhealthy cells and tissue in the body. And apparently, the only way to fight it...is to consume or be exposed to a treatment which kills not only the cancer but surrounding tissue as well.

To make an oversimplified analogy...I'm wondering if I have an emotional or spiritual cancer (the latter could perhaps be identified with sin...but that's not necessarily what I'm talking about). What I mean to say is that I seem to have something destructive, negative, and cynical growing within me...and it's killing some of the healthy parts. For instance, I'm very cynical right now about all the spiritual disciplines and exercises which I've engaged in (religiously and mostly out of obligation) for the past 25 years or so. So things like prayer, reading scripture, and corporate worship just seem like exercises in ambivalence.

Obviously, I need to find some creative way to incorporate these spiritual "disciplines" back into my daily diet. But I have this heightened sensitivity right now towards anything that's inauthentic or towards doing anything religious simply because it's the right thing to do. All those things should flow naturally from a healthy relationship with God...right?! But is there a way to develop a healthy relationship with God apart from doing those things?. Spiritual Catch 22, eh?!

But back to my friend, Andrea, and her present struggle. It reminds me that I'm grumbling and feeling kind of pathetic towards my current situation. Pathetic...pathological...path...I'm not enjoying this part of the path. So why can I not just CHOOSE and DECIDE and WILL myself down a different path? That's what I would like to do.

Love Me Some Chick Fil-A

Maybe some lighter trivial posting is in order...?!

I've been enjoying frequent visits to the new Chick Fil-A which is right next door to our Starbucks (just a bit more than a stone's throw I suppose). I was the fourth person out of 100 to camp out before opening day and get 52 free combo meals the first Wed/Thur of October.

For anyone interested, there's another Chick Fil-A opening Wed/Thurs Nov 2nd here on the eastside of Cincinnati (Beechmont Ave) and then one in Grove City (Columbus) on Nov 16th. People start lining up 24 hours prior to the grand opening...so you have to get there on Wednesday before 100 people show up (usually between 4-10pm) and then camp out in the parking lot until the 6am opening to win your prize. It's $260 worth of Chick Fil-A!! They're going to make great little stocking stuffers...not to mention I haven't spent a dime on my lunch breaks since my decision to eat more chickin'. I'll be at the Beechmont & Grove City openings...so feel free to join me!! Better dress warmly.

As for my new physically fit alter ego...the workouts are still going very well at Gold's gym. I'm down from 212 lbs. when I started (September 2nd) to about 193 to 195 lbs!! I've lost 1.5 inches around the waist as well as 1.5 inches from each of my thighs! The jeans are hanging kinda of loose for the first time in...well, ever! But this coming week I'll slow down to 4-5 workouts per week instead of 6. The schedule hasn't been real family friendly. I'm still studying the books and information to be certified through A.C.E. as a personal trainer. Then I hope to start working at a gym and training some folks for about 10-15 hours/week.

Which leads me to Starbucks. I'm having some issues with the coffee conglomerate right now. Some of them stem from management issues at my local store. Mis-management I should say! But beyond that, my newfound passion for health and fitness has me irritated at how much Starbucks is contributing to the obesity of Americans and other global citizens. Just tonight I had a customer (young female) ask me what was in a white mocha, because she was putting on weight ever since she started drinking them. Well, that's because the white mocha is about the sweetest most flippin' fattening thing you could order at Starbucks!! And another thing is really irking me...an issue related more to conservation and the environment. I find myself getting angry when nearly every customer starts whining for a..."drink thingy," "cup holder," "hand warmer," which is actually known as a sleeve. Now I know people are paying enough to deserve the total Starbucks experience (which I guess includes the sleeve), but would it kill you to save a few trees?! A latte is not hot enough to burn you unless you order it extra hot. And is the frappuccino really so cold or moist that you need one on that drink too?! I just want to say "No! You don't need a damn sleeve for your tall 140 degree latte!" Just TRY to be a little more "green" for once.

So apparently I can't even talk about trivial things without going on a rant.

By the way, what are you reading (blogs, podcasts, other forms of media) that you think I would enjoy? Leave me a link.

My Cycle of Discontent

A couple of days ago, I was fortunate to spend some time with my best buds from Columbus. I knew I needed to get away for a day or so and talk some things over with those who have known me best for the longest time (besides my brothers...the next get-a-way will be to Indy!)

Unfortunately, the discussion about all things spiritual, emotional, marital, vocational, and trivial regarding my life revealed a seriously flawed common thread running through the fabric of my recent and not-so-recent past. Discontentment...it plagues me. There are hints of it throughout my late adolescence and early adulthood. But the most obvious instances began cropping up towards the end of our time in Westerville. And now I find myself in a pattern of seasonal contentment which only lasts a few months before this primal desire to flee emerges once again.

And the real problem is not knowing the source of this discontentment. Is it primarily a spiritual problem? Do I just need to pull up the spiritual bootstraps and 'get over it?!' Or is it vocational? Is it marital? Does it have to do with my calling? Am I being disobedient by not serving in some official pastoral role? Is it just a by-product of living with your in-laws and hoping the pieces of your life fall back into place within the next 9 or 10 months? I really don't know the cause or root problem.

I just had to delete a whole big paragraph because it just degenerated into whining and a gripe session. I'll try to spare you all of anymore of that stuff. Speaking of whining...my girls are terrible at bedtime! They're incredible cute and sweet the other 12-16 hours of the day. But if there's anything to worry or cry about at bedtime...my 7 and 3 year old girls are all over it. Jess and I did have a great daddy-daughter bowling date this morning though. Precious moments, eh?!

Man of Extremes

Yeah...as I read back over my post from last night...I regret that emotional outburst. In my quest for personal fitness and a certification as a trainer, I've learned a bit about muscular anatomy and how muscle fibers work. They operate by the all-or-nothing principle. A muscle fiber either fully exerts itself or isn't activated at all (cardiac and vascular muscle tissue is different). I often feel like I operate by the same all-or-nothing principle. For some reason, I've not been real good at balance lately...emotional or spiritual.

Is anyone watching Studio 60? I think the way they're dealing with Christianity is pretty interesting. The writers definitely identify at least two versions of Christianity. One is ultra-conservative, political, evangelical, and pretty unattractive. The other is something that apprears to be a little more authentic, compassionate, inclusive, and gracious. That dichotomy has been around a very long time. So why didn't the early followers of Christ just remain Jewish and incarnationally reform the church of the day? Why was it necessary to break fellowship with all those God-fearing, God-honoring synagogue occupants?! Jesus didn't come to start a new church did he? Jesus wasn't a Christian...he was a Jew.

Is every "church" the Bride?

There are certainly many things at stake in my life right now...but this issue of "church" seems to be right at the center of it all. I can appreciate that many of you have this determined sense of messianic calling to your local instituations. But part of the problem now is that we have no local institution. We're in a completely new environment, living temporarily in an area I'm quite sure we won't settle in, trying to dig out of a seemingly insurmountable hell-hole of debt, navigating a treacherous road of familial tension, and add to that a complete and utter desperate sense that my entire Christian experience up to this point has set me up for this ultimate failure...as a husband, as a dad, as a provider, as a minister, as a Nazarene, and perhaps in some other unmentionable ways.

And as surely as my emotions overwhelm me in this moment...there is no sense of hope right now that anything good is on the horizon.

Whether or not I exercise some futile attempt at denominational or institutional loyalty is, believe me, NOT even the right discussion to be having. That's not to say it's not an important discussion...just not one that's going to solve anything in my life at the moment.

I don't want to seem ungrateful for anyone's comments, input, or emails...I definitely value them all. I'm just beat down by some bigger issues at the moment. Thanks for your words and prayers.

I'm not getting it

So Sunday mornings continue to be a struggle. I just sit through a service at a church where I'm just not "getting it" which we drove for 30 minutes to get to. Every minute is so predictable because it's the same cookie cutter, new-start, "with-it" Nazarene program. People are not engaged...musically or homiletically. It's not that the leadership is bad or the people aren't sincere...I just feel like after 13 years of being on the "inside" of such a church-event...we're missing the point.

As I walk down the hallway and say good morning to someone...she just looked back down at her feet like I didn't exist. Yeah...grace-filled relationships and community...people aren't quite catching on.

And while I'm sitting through the service with a mental critique list compounding...everyone else seems to get it and go for it and enjoy it(including my family). Again, as I've said before...perhaps it's me. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's me (to some extent). And when conversationally cornered or forced to explain what I don't "get" or what I disagree with...all I attempt to articulate comes out like "well...it just doesn't seem relevant (blah, blah, blah)...it seems like an alternate reality that we've created which exists in near total isolation from the rest of our lives (blah, blah, blah)...it's so self-centered and devoid of compassion, justice, and mercy (blah, blah, blah)...

I'm beating my head against the wall...literally!

Holiness Codes and Organic Church

About every third or fourth article on this site is definitely worth reading. Here's one that deals with "holiness codes" and the destructive legalistic view on alcohol and tobacco. I'm not about to say that all the "holiness" folk need to stop at the pub on the way home or go buy a pipe...but isn't it interesting how unbiblical (or extra-biblical I should say) our prohibitory stand is on these issues?! One could easily proof text a few verses regarding sexual activity and produce complete chastity as being a step on the path to "holiness." And as the article mentions...all the while we're stuffing our faces and ignoring the poor, spending our money in ways which continue the unfair labor practices and substandard wages (doesn't the Bible say the worker is worth his/her wages?).

On a fairly different subject...I continue to read through Organic Church (by Neil Cole). He continues to emphasize the organic nature of the Kingdom of God which is evident in many of Jesus' parables. The parable of the farmer and the seed seems to indicate that planting and spreading seed is our main task. However, in Cole's estimation, most churches (especially the megachurches) are spending most of their time, energy, and efforts in trying to make things grow...finding the right program, implementing the right discipleship/small-group/assimilation strategy, investing in the weekly EVENT rather planting good seed or even preparing adequately for a harvest.

Now, I'm not competely comfortable with everything Cole is saying...for instance, he really seems to be tearing down one method of church planting just to propogate another method. Although the method he is talking about seems to be very true to scripture and the early church's practices...still, I'm not sure it's healthy or helpful to say that true organic and biblical churches or movements are going to multiply like crazy and spread throughout a city in about three weeks. To me, that's missing the point that an organic process is one that takes time, the right conditions, proper environment and climate, etc...

A Good First Date

It felt like a first date in some ways...this past Tuesday evening visit to a buddy's house church gathering. I guess because I have this weird "I hope it works out" feeling about the whole thing.

I thoroughly enjoyed the informal time of sharing a meal and then talking/praying together. Deb was not able to be there with me...so I feel like our attempt to be on the same page in this journey just isn't working out very well.

But the fellowship, conversations, and atmostphere were all exactly what I was hoping for. Careful I must be (hear Yoda's voice narrating my story) not to be prematurely predisposed to putting down some roots in that community and area of Cincinnati.

Well, Starbucks got the best of me today...I am beat and should be in bed already. I have to get up early for a workout and then be back at the cafe by 10am. Blessings....

Re-Brewing at Starbucks

I just had a favorable conversation with my district manager today at Starbucks. Looks like I should be back into position as an ASM (assistant store manager) by the first of November. That was very encouraging indeed!

And with 9 new stores opening in the greater Cincinnati area within the next 18 months...some great opportunities lie ahead.

Tomorrow night I'm really looking forward to meeting with Thurman and his fellow Vineyard Central friends for a house-church gathering down in Norwood. Now that some vocational and physical-fitness goals are coming into focus...let's see where God is leading us from a spiritual and domestic standpoint.

Thoughts and prayers go out to all those who suffered deeply on this day five years ago.
Shalom...

Pain, Gain, and Being Vain

Pain is my new best friend....because in terms of muscle development and fitness pain does indeed = gain.

Here's my new "Fourth Place." (Because I work in my "Third Place.")

I know, it looks like your typical meat locker of a place to work out...but it's my best option while we're in this part of town. And I'm sure many of you realize the unquestionable connection between physical health/discipline and spiritual health/disciplines.

Anyway, I've been to the gym 7 of the last 8 days and am determined that a part of this whole life transition is going to include some health & fitness goals. It's ridiculous how long I've talked about getting into shape...losing some weight...and improving my overall health and energy level. I used to say that I'll be in top physical conditioning and health by the time I'm 30. Well, that was over five years ago! So now I've got less than 5 years to develop the kind of habits which will lead to some great health and physical wholeness for the second half of my life (assuming I don't get hit by a semi while I'm cycling or something).

It may also lead to some additional income within 3 to 6 months as well since I'm pursuing an ACE certification to become a personal trainer. Interesting how much spare time I have now with a normal 40 (or less) hour work week!

P.S. Let's hear it for Zoomtown!!! Cincinnati Bell's DSL service...we are now online and zooming for $20/month and saving lots on the old cable/internet bill (of course, I just spent all that savings on the gym membership, but still...!)

An Encouraging Conversation

As you know from my last post...I recently experienced a real life planes, trains, and automobiles episode. Interestingly, when I missed my flight from KCI to IND, I wasn't real shook up about it. Partly because it was entirely my fault...but I also just had this sense of divine providence in the "air." Well, what resulted from my time mis-management was a very meaningful and enjoyable conversation on the alternate flight to Detroit (where I was to fly standby back down to Indy).

To boil it all down for you, the young lady who sat beside me (who turned out to be a bit older than I thought...but "old" has become such a relative term to me) was a SWF former FBI employee who now owned her own private investigation business. My reply was, "Oh...I loved Magnum P.I." to which she replied, "Me too!" More importantly, she is a devout Catholic (not sure why I always feel the need to qualify a Catholic as devout or not...perhaps the same qualification should precede the adjective of Protestant/Evangelical/Christian as well) who finds herself in a serious relationship with a very sincere Budhist. The relationship is progressing (though marriage has not really been on the conversation menu just yet) and the diversity of religion is finally emerging as the proverbial elephant in the room. When she found out my history and status as a pastor or sorts, she was very interested in my opinion on the whole situation. What makes it problematic is that this guy is morally, ethically, and spiritually superior to probably any "good Catholic" guy she's been in relationships with.

I found it very difficult to lay the whole evangelical spiritual smackdown on her. I mean...I know the whole "no one comes to the Father except through me" and "I am the way, the truth, and the life" etc, etc. But the Spirit just didn't seem to be giving me a green light to say those kinds of things. I suppose it might be because I'm branching out of my own little spiritual box and believe that the way we are conditioned and raised in our own little religious bubbles...results in a very narrow dogma that Jesus might not appreciate. And again...it may just be that I'm out of touch with the Spirit...so why would I be directed by the Spirit in a conversation like that?!

But as she said on the plane...my experience of "branching out" at least leaves me hanging on to the right tree. Budhism is a whole different spiritual ecosystem. But it results in a similar since of morality, compassion, and service to others...so that's kind of confusing.

Anyway...it was a fabulous conversation and we exchanged email addresses so we could both check in on the other's journey and I can find out if she marries the Budha boy!



Next post...I'll share my crazy newfound fitness fettish. For now...I must rest so I can crack some eggs at the crack of dawn and have some breakfast with my darling daughters.

Let the waiting continue

My last post was about waiting...and here I am again.

There is certainly a dark side of the internet. I should have been completely content to sip my Anniversary Blend at the Starbucks just a few hundred yards down the terminal from Northwest gate 63. But the allure and seduction of tapping into a great force of world-wide communication sucked me in. The laptop slithered from it's padded lair and hissed into action. Before I knew it, I had opened myself up to the hypnotic stare of the one-eyed VAIO.

With about 45 minutes before my flight was to board...I hit bloglines and began to catch up on some friends and their blogs thinking I had plenty of time. Suddenly I had this panic attack of time-management anxiety. Sure enough...I had lost track of the time as I was reading, commenting, and following a few rabbit trail links. I threw the serpent back in the bag with a tangled mass of cords and began walking briskly back down the terminal. As I was selected for a more thorough screening...I knew it was going to be too late. I told the screener/agent I was trying to catch the 8:25 flight to Indy and he apathetically replied, "Oh...they already closed the door on that flight since all flights leave ten minutes prior to departure time?"

So I found the next earliest route to Indianapolis (through Detroit) and returned to the gate...to wait some more. Instead of arriving at 10:55am in Indy...it will be more like 2:45pm. It reminds me that much of our waiting and struggle (not that all waiting is a bad thing) comes as a result of our own choices. I think of the other "waiting" which is going on in our lives...
Waiting to get back on track with Starbucks management...
Waiting to get out of debt...
Waiting to find where we'll deepen our roots...
Waiting on the wind of the Spirit to fill my sails once again--which I know is more about waiting on my own attempts to position the sails properly.
Waiting for the restoration of contentment and joy
Waiting....

Well, one kind of waiting is nearing an end...they just started boarding my alternate flight. I better bag the beast and report for stand-by.

Waiting Period

Nothing too philosophical wrapped up in today's title. We're literally waiting...for Adelphia to show up and install some high-speed internet.

I got a new cell phone through Verizon and was trying out their broadband connect service...but it's just not a good deal for the money. We tried to downsize to a single cell phone and relatively no internet (dial-up) but it wasn't working. We'll have to pursue simplicity in every other area!

Anyway, I was wondering how many of those who occasionally stop by my blog have blogs of your own? I'd love to reciprocate the favor of reading and posting if you have something out there I don't already know about. If you do, please post the address in a comment or email it to me at coffeebean71@hotmail.com.

Blessings,

An Excellent Point

A friend commented on my "rigid orthodoxy" post and makes an excellent point. I'll try to respond in such a way that it make sense without going back to read his comment (but you may want to do that anyway).

The most significant point he makes (I think) is that the ideal experience of some type of utopic Kingdom life is not going to magically materialize. I believe, however, that it CAN be a pretty radical departure from traditional ways of 'doing' church. In Neil Cole's book Organic Church, the fourth chapter deals with the 'dangerous question' of defining church. He suggests, "The temptation is to define church accoring to our own experience. We think we know something because of familiarity. By defining church this way, we are assured that we are always right, but this is a cheap solution that perpetuates all our current problems."

Cole goes on to present an understanding of church as "the presence of Jesus among His people called out as a spiritual family to pursue His mission on this planet." The big question that brings up for me right now is...how much of church is about God's mission and how much is about the church itself...as an institution, organization, and pseudo-corporation?!

But back to my own story and the questions raised by my friend. Here are the climactic questions he posed...

And the question I must pose is whether or not you think you are any closer to
this ideal of a community that truly embraces kingdom principles than you were
several years ago? And does bouncing from one place to another help that ideal
become reality?

The short answer would be "yes" and then "no." I guess I would say "yes" to being closer because with every part of the journey and struggle comes learning and growth and because I keep unpacking and discovering things about myself and the way I've been conditioned and mentored by the church. I answer the second question with an emphatic "no" because my decisions over the past two years have been errantly motivated and quite detrimental to our experience of geniune community and formative relationships. I don't want to discount any of our experiences and ministry over the past couple of years, but we left ministry at Westerville for the wrong reasons, I finished the MDiv for the wrong reasons, I left Starbucks in Columbus for the wrong reasons, and went to Dayton for the wrong reasons. Wow...all in one sentence like that makes me feel like a failure in many ways (certainly a personal issue I'm battling right now). IF I could have the past 30 months to do over again...no doubt we would still be in Columbus further building relationships and moving towards a more "emerging" style of BEING the church. (the extent to which I miss Columbus is almost painful...especially this time of year...Go Bucks!)

BUT...having made some decisions out of fear, financial anxiety, human logic, personal ambition, etc...here we are in Cincinnati starting all over again. And in many ways it really sucks. But then again...there's hope because of the redemptive, reconciling, and restorative Presence of God.

With our relocation to Cincinnati comes a lack of internet connection. Now I'm running around to Panera, Buffalo Wild Wings, etc to find a wi-fi connection to post something.

So for tonight...there will nothing of substance....just a plea for rest and simplicity in the midst of this transition.

A Rigid Orthodoxy

For the curious and interested, I want to attempt to bring some clarity to my current struggle. Not that this will necessarily clear anything up really...but perhaps it will make clear to some why and how I'm walking the path that I am.

This verbal expulsion was prompted in part by Scott McKnight's comments on "Emerging and Orthodoxy 4" at his blog. But also from a conversation I had earlier today with a friend who somebody called a "withmate" on another conversation I was reading.

McKnight seems to be a proponent of orthodoxy preservation in the face of emerging attitudes about church and faith. What I gather from skimming over his last few posts on this topic indicates that he defines orthodoxy as an adherence to doctrinal faith statements. I think if you stop there...that's a component of orthodoxy which most "emerging" folk are willing to accept. In fact, with this whole concept of 'new monasticism' and 'future-ancient' types of community and worship, I think orthodoxy is perfectly acceptable to most of us (perhaps I need to define "us" but I'll refrain from doing so at this point).

However, I think what I am reacting against (dare I say rebelling against) in my present assessment of church and evangelical christianity is a type of rigid orthodoxy which goes way beyond assent to a creedal statement of faith. What I am no longer content with is an expression of christianity which errs on the side of law rather than grace. Sure it would be nice not to err on either side...but to err on the side of law and legalism reduces our spiritual experience to obligatory religous devotion and behavioral modification strategies.

In McKnight's third installement of Emerging and Orthodoxy he offers a helpful quadrilateral of points which provide in his words "four major impulses in the emerging movement." It is...
1. Postmodern: a reaction against the meta-narrative and systematic theologies. I love his final line in this paragraph... "Some have lots of questions about the gospel and find postmodernism a quiet place to rest and think about what they believe."
2. Praxis-here is the emphasis on being missional. Also wrapped up in this impulse are new forms of worship (ancient/modern).
3. Post-evangelical: This basically just implies that many of us believe ourselves to have evolved in some way spiritually...so that we're no longer what we were or what our parents are.
4. Political: Here's the impulse and issue of social justice. Hunger, poverty, aids, economic disparity, etc...these issues are huge and need to be addressed...and are so much more important than adding a new $50,000 cafe to the foyer of the church.

And so all of these ideas are part of my current journey and struggle. I don't want to react and rebel against the church of my youth just because I can. And I don't want to bail out on my "tribe." But I DO want to be a part of a community which values all the above. I no longer want to be part of a church which offers to help construct an alternate reality where the Kingdom is not necessarily released into individual lives or in any real corporate sense. I don't want to plant a church. In the words of Jason Evans, I want to "embody the Kingdom." (See McClaren's blog article entitled "Missional Planning")

Saint of the Little Ways

I really have a problem with those chain emails that people forward which promise crazy things (like answered wishes and prayers) if you send it to 11 more people within the next five minutes! Whatever you do...don't break the chain. Of course syncretism has been around a long time.

However, nestled in this good-intentioned email was this...

St. Theresa's Prayer:

May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where
you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born
of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love
that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to
sing, dance, praise God and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Trusting that we're exactly where God means for us to be sounds awfully simple...but I'll take it!