Interesting that Ryan should reference St. John of the Cross in that last comment section. The "dark night of the soul" has been a frequent phrase in my self talk over the past couple of years. However, I wouldn't presume to think that my current sufferings equal or surpass those of many throughout church history or those who currently suffer for Christ in tragic and life-threatening ways across the globe.
Yet pain is relative...and relative to any other experience or phase throughout my 35 years of journeying...the pain, confusion, and pressure we've been facing for over a year now often seems to near the point of emotional, spiritual, and even physical paralysis.
Today was an especially dark "day" of the soul. Three significantly negative and disappointing encounters/events took place between 4:45am and 4:45pm. The musician in me wants to sit down with my guitar, pick around in a minor key, and write a lament...
How long, Oh Lord, will the darkness surround me?!
My tears fall like rain in this storm of my soul...
If you don't protect me from all of these trials,
I'll crumble to pieces...I'll never be whole... How long?!
3 comments:
Brother, you're in my thoughts often. It seems like so many of us are struggling. I wonder to what end? Peace...
jb
I am becoming more and more convinced that this experience, as John, said is being felt by many. There are a number of people in our church, at my school, etc. that are struggling. I am also becoming convinced that we, in America, find it difficult give to God all that he asks. I've been reading about some of the great monastic writers lately and am struck with the lengths they go to in order to deny their flesh and focus on God. The trick, however, is to figure out how we do this in our context: surrounded by materialism and lax Christians and falling church leaders and egos and activities and entertainment and...
I don't have the answers but i think that all we can do sometimes is keep trying to focus each day on God. I try to look for opportunities to see his handiwork in nature and in the generosity and compassion of others. I try to look for evidence that He is still interested in all of us down here. Some days I don't see it. Some days I don't want to see it. Some days I don't want to fight and struggle anymore. Some days...I just don't know...Take courage...we're in this together. My heart hurts for you and I pray that God makes himself know to you in little ways that give you enough hope to carry on another day...peace be with you.
Hey Brother. I can understand your Dark Day of the Soul. I wrote about just such a thing. It's a very godly story of compassion, understanding, and commitment.
Give it a look-see
Dave Hart
www.darkdayofthesoul.com
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