Urgent Care, BP, and Parenting

I have often been accused of being one of those guys who shrugs a shoulder of apathy towards physical pain, sickness, and general issues of health. So after 3 separate injuries to my right foot over a span of about 2 months, I finally decided to visit Urgent Care this past week (since we don't have a family physician in Dayton yet). Although I have often been frustrated by the cycle of...Visit doctor--pay too much--doctor can't help...scenario, I yielded to what seemed like common sense and spent two hours and who knows how much money this past Tuesday evening getting some x-rays and mediocre medical care. The funny thing is, something turned up on the x-ray which the doctor was concerned about and it was nowhere near the area where my pain was. Fortunately, I did get to spend some time with Don Miller soaking in some more of his christian spirituality anectdotes. The other big surprise that evening was my BP (blood pressure of course). The numbers were quite a ways above any I've generated in the past. Which leads me to the last titular issue.

Parenting! Until about 2 months ago...I felt like a pretty good dad. I mean, sure, there's always room for improvement, but overall, no major dysfunction. However, after the last few weeks, I wouldn't be surprised to catch my girls blogging behind my back on mydadsucks.com We are in a down-right grueling phase or something. Fortunately, I suppose, it's not just me. Deb is experiencing the same kind of stuff. Obviuosly, the trauma of our recent relocation has taken a toll...but good grief! I know of plenty of other families who have bounced around with ministry, military, or whatever...and even they're a bit surprised at some of the things we're going through. So combining those issues with the demands of full-time youth ministry at a level I've never experienced before...and bingo...viola...high blood pressure?? I guess I'm getting to the age where you have to start thinking seriously about your health. What a bummer.

Perception

I find it kind of interesting that our perception of time can vary so greatly depending on our circumstances. For instance...I have had some weeks recently that seemed to fly by. Whether it was the level of satisfaction I experienced on the job, at home, in spending time with people, etc...from the start of the week on Monday (I know some people think of Sunday as the first day of the week...but my mind just doesn't break it down that way) to the middle of my day-off on Friday...I would just about swear that only 2 or 3 days worth of time had registered mentally. Other times (like this week), from 8am Monday until this moment (Wednesday evening at about 8:45pm) seemed to take about 8 days worth of energy and time. Sheesh! I just think it might be an interesting study for someone to write a doctoral dissertation about. So keep that in mind for those pursuing their Ph.D. anytime soon.
I guess it's been a long week because of some difficult conversations and some intensely stressful personal situations. When your emotions are fully engaged...the battery drains much more quickly. Fortunately, I've been able to spend some time with one who has endured much more than I ever will in this arena of emotion and psychological strain. The Gethsemane scene from the Passion of the Christ comes to mind. I'm reminded all I need is a little time in a "green pasture" or near some "quiet waters." Anybody know the way to one of those?

Sporadic Spiritual Spin

Many of you know that I have a rare condition known as alliteritus. I feel the sickening need to alliterate whenever possible. I've thought about counseling, hypnosis, inner healing prayer...but then again...perhaps it's just my "thorn of the flesh."

Seriously, though...I was just blogging on Xanga which is where I connect more with students in our youth ministry. Here's what I was saying in that blog-arena...

"I have another question...selfishly motivated a bit...but worth considering I think. What are the ways in which we most deeply connect with God...the Divine...the Creator...Heavenly Father...the Spirit...the Son...etc? I would certainly be the first to admit that in the pursuit of connectedness with God...some days (weeks, months, even years) are better than others.
Lately, I tend to really connect with God in a variety of ways. Cycling for a few strenuous hours seems to position me to really converse with God and reflect on life. Just sitting back on this sweet couch in my office with a hot cup of sumatra seems to provide a God-friendly moment. Chasing my daughter around the tennis net while Deb and I try recreate nostalgic courtship moments (pun alert) gives me this sense of wholeness and purpose. Watching a room full of students authentically worship God around the glow of candle light...that definitely connects me with my creator.
The problem is...we tend to unplug ourselves from God as much as we plug into Him creating this frustrating cycle of sporadic spiritual spin...argh! (that's an old comic book word) So back to my question...what are the ways in which you deeply connect with God and stay connected?"

And I have a tendency to deal with the same issues personally as I'm processing them in the context of ministry (with students or others). One of the greatest challenges of ministry in the context of speaking and teaching others is what I would call internalization. In order to passionately communicate a truth or principle to someone else, I have to own it...believe it...consume it...and live it. So I'm wrestling with this issue of deeply connecting with God. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of spiritual disciplines and contemplative practices for positioning us to encounter God...but there's also a bit of mystery in it. I hesitate to give anyone the idea that you can follow these 5 steps and presto...intimacy with God.

Anyone have some different thoughts on this thought of deeply connecting with God and helping others do the same?

Candy-Coated Christianity

I was just surfing around and found Erwin Mcmanus' new project. The tagline for the book is "the greatest enemy to the movement of Jesus Christ is Christianity." As I was admiring someone else's journey the other day, it occurred to me that Jesus might be quite ticked off about what is passing for Christianity these days. It forces me to evaluate my own "version" of Christianity as well.

AIDs...poverty...hunger...injustice...aiding victims of natural disasters...there are plenty of opportunities to follow the example of Christ. Where does living a comfortable middle-class existence fit into all of that?

But on the other hand...all I know to do is faithfully live out the Kingdom as I know it and experience it right now. Perhaps encouraging the Kingdom life in others will bring me closer and closer to living it myself. We get so easily entrenched in the culture and enslaved to our lifestyles with its paralyzing debt and materialistic ambitions. Or is that just me? What would we do for the Kingdom if we were free from those encumberances?

HTML Humility

Honestly...I felt checked by the Spirit to consider following up my last post with an apology. As I read back over it...I can tell my spirit was not in step with the Spirit. Thanks for your comment, DB!

I suppose that reaffirms some of the limitations of this medium of communication though. Perhaps it's a little too easy to rant and rave excessively.

Well, I'm thankful for a chance to hang out with Stetler today and hear some great thoughts from the likes of NT Wright, Brueggeman, and Newbigin (along with Eric of course). I celebrate the journey of those I see living out a radically re-imagined way to be human.

As I've re-entered the world of professional ministry...the battle for margin and balance rages.

Blog Blockage

As you can probably tell from the sporadic frequency of my last few posts, I'm experiencing some kind of bloggers block.

Actually, I just replied to a blog that really set me off and it's got me wondering if this is a valid use of time. In a recent conversation with a friend who boldly questions the value of this form of communication, he referred to most of the blogs he reads as some form of intellectual masturbation. Now if you can thoughtfully consider that phrase for a moment without being offended or defensive, you might have to agree that there's certainly some truth in that.

I know there have been times when I struggle over the wording or vocabulary in my post because of the response I'm trying to affect or produce. Or I labor over the content of my post to be sure that it's more substantial than the mention of daily rituals and events.

The other issue causing me to rant a bit here is the utter lack of accountability and careless spewing of words which passes for profundity. If things are being said in a blog which are not preceded by a willingness to share the same information in person, then stop wasting everyone's time and go do the right thing.

I'll stop before I get any more stirred up. But as a community of blogging believers, let's be careful how we malign the church and stir up dissent.

Monkey Bars Are Evil

Oh man...what a tough day. I was sitting in my office getting ready to meet with someone when Deb (my wife) called and I could hear my daughter crying in the background. She went to the park after school and was playing on the monkey bars when disaster struck. The bottom line...a broken arm. She fractured the humerus bone (hey, it's not funny!) just above her elbow but fortunately a simple cast for 6 weeks will do the trick. Interesting...every nurse and doctor at the ER commented on how monkey bars are probably the number one source of injuries for children (next was bikes and trampolines).

The whole saga brought back some childhood memories as I thought back to the time I jumped out of tree while playing tag with my brothers. I was determined not to let my little brother tag me so I lured him up the tree a little further planning to jump about 12 feet to the ground and escape his grubby little tag-happy fingers! Turns out I miscalculated the jump a bit and caught my foot on a little branch as I shoved away from the main limb. As my toe hung up on the branch, my head went from being the highest point on my body to being the first thing to hit the ground. I tried to break my fall with my hands and arms but that just caused me to break my wrist just before being knocked unconscious.

As I think back to that and many other physical traumas I experienced as a kid it doesn't seem too bad of an experience. But to be a dad and have your little girl get banged up and subjected to potentially serious injuries?! Makes me want to vomit.

See You At The Poll

I know...I misspelled "pole" but it was intentional. This annual event which draws students to their school flagpoles for prayer every September is quite a good thing...on the surface. But what I'm wondering this morning (as I wait to attend a rally due to a 2-hr school delay) is what the majority of students at the high schools and middle schools think about this event. One of the points made in a good book I'm reading about 7 Effective Practices of Ministry is that you need to look at your church, ministry, or organization through the eyes of an outsider. In youth ministry, that's the majority of each school's student population.

So if we were to take a poll...regarding this pole-praying-practice...would we find the opinions of 'insiders' vs. 'outsiders' to be extremely polarized??

I think so. I'm not saying that See You At The Pole is a bad thing...or that students shouldn't gather for this annual prayer event. But it's just an event. I'd rather see ten students living out the values and lifestyle of Christ than two hundred praying at a flagpole. Again, I'm not trying to be cynical about a valuable expression of Christian devotion in the lives of students. I just don't think the third Wednesday in September is any more crucial for students to live out their faith than the second or fourth Wednesday of any other month.

Neighborhood Integrity

So...we recently gave up the autonomy of living on a half-acre of land with our single-family dwelling place. For the time being, we're squeezing the human and material contents of our previous home into a nice little apartment with a nice little pond a few nice little feathered friends who wander past the sliding glass door on occasion.

But with the benefits of living in close community come the drawbacks as well. One of the most irritating things we deal with on a daily basis is the inability of our neighbors to park efficiently between those spacious white lines. I really am kind of baffled as I drive through the neighborhood and see how haphazardly people park their vehicles. I think I'll suggest that management institute a fine for any vehicle parked over a white line!

Sadder still is the fact that we only lived here for two short weeks before we fell victim to the reckless parking lot navigation efforts of a neighbor. As Deb got out of the car with the kids the other day she recognized something was up when a whole piece of fiberglass panel fell to the ground from one of the rear doors. What we discovered was that the car had been substantially bumped by another vehicle enough to dent the door and bust the connectors which held the panel in place. Now a week later...after having no one confess to the incident...I found the culprit. The light teal paint of our Bonneville is smeared all over the front right fender of our neighbor's Kia Spectra. I can't believe it?! How could run into your neighbor's car, who you're going to see repeatedly and park next to for at least 12 months, and not 'fess up to it?! It's almost funny...if not for the total lack of integrity.

So what do I do? Turn in the license plate number? Put up a note by our mailboxes? Let it go? It's not that I even care about the cost of repair or want to get compensated. I just want to have neighbors with some integrity. Is that why most people in the church don't want to give up their private personal relationship with Jesus for a community-based pursuit of God together? Because the awareness of integrity-loss increases greatly within community. By the way...since the car is paid off...I think I'll just take some liquid nails and slap that piece back in place. That should last a little longer than duct tape, eh?!

The Church's Batting Average

I'm reading a good book right now entitled 7 Practices of Effective Ministry by Andy Stanley and two others from his team at Northpoint church near Atlanta. Over the past few months, I've had several people recommend some of his writing to me, but this is the first one I've dipped into.

One of the things I like so far is the emphasis being placed on relationships and steps rather than programs and events. As I step back up to the plate of youth ministry (Stanley uses some good baseball imagery in the book!) I find myself kicking the dirt around a bit and tapping my bat on the ground establishing my familiarity with home plate. But what is home plate in youth ministry? or in ministry in general? What does it mean to hit a home run?

I suppose that in any kind of ministry setting or even just in our spiritual lives...home plate is a mature relationship (or I should probably say a maturing relationship) with Christ. Scoring a run in this context is helping someone move into ever-increasing Christ likeness. But in order to accomplish that goal, we've got to move people (or ourselves) through a series of steps which lead to that end. Unfortunately, what I've been a part of in most of my years of ministry (which is what I think Stanley is suggesting in his book) is just continual efforts to swing away and assume that any contact made with the ball is a win. But the only hit that counts towards improving the batting average is one which results in advancing someone to first base and beyond.

So we can crank one out of the park (like pulling off a great worship service or event) but if we don't help someone advance towards home plate (spiritual maturity) then we've definitely not accomplished our main goal. My concern and my insecurity right now has a lot to do with the gravitational pull I sense drawing me into a program-driven approach to ministry when I know the focus needs to be on steps, practices, and relationships instead.

LOST AGAIN

No...I'm not talking about the Ohio State Buckeyes...though that was a depressing loss for me (since I now work with a Texan who can be heard shouting "Hook'em Horns" down the hall). I'm not talking about Agassi's loss to Roger Federer today at the US Open either. Although I was really rooting for the old guy to pull it off (Andre is 35 and I'm almost 35. As I get older I find myself cheering on the more 'mature' athletes!)

Anyway...I got lost on my bike again this past Saturday. I should admit though that I don't really mind it. Really I should just call it "exploring" and not getting lost. I like to hop on the bike and just head in a particular direction. The problem is that I have this sense of what the roads should do in my mind. But often roads are not laid out in a logical grid-like way...so that's what throws me off. But this is the second time I've gone "exploring" on this one particular road. And on Saturday I just kept making the wrong decision when I had a chance to take a turn. My wife makes fun of me because in those situations I have a "feeling" about whether I'm headed in the right direction or not. And although I would "feel" like the decision was right...it took me further from where I wanted to be.

Finally I noticed that the sun was setting and the thought occurred to me to just head south...I knew that would take me to familiar territory. So as I looked to the sun...I was able to figure out my next move and finally came across the road I was looking for. My legs were starting to resist the commands to keep pumping at a steady pace, but as I churned along (now with confidence in my location) I thought of the spiritual implications and analogy. Aren't there times when we makes decisions based on what "feels" right? I know I do. And the frustration that sets in after making the wrong choices over and over...that gets downright maddening. But when I settle down and look up...(not just up directionally, but up spiritually)...I look to the Son and get my bearings. Then things become clear again. I love clarity!

BLOG Balance

I think I will try to create another blog or two so I can keep a certain focus here. I'm tempted to start blogging about things which pertain more to youth ministry or that connect with the students I'll be sharing life with. But I actually want to keep this blog focused more on the personal journey...the inward and upward journeys.

To my surprise, this blog has launched or re-launched many old friendships and relationships. That has been very meaningful to me. I hope to continue those conversations and start many more in the days ahead.

But balance has always been a problem for me. And being back in a fairly traditional context of ministry adds many demands and expectations. The key for me is to hold steady on my non negotiable values of life and ministry. Regardless of job security, people-pleasing, or performance issues...I have to keep my eyes on those compass points. Have any of you stumbled across some significant strategies for maintaining balance in ministry...or life in general?? (it can be just as hard or harder outside of ministry I learned)

Daddy Daughter Distress

For the past couple of weeks, we've really been nervous about this whole move and transition from the angle of my daughter starting 1st grade at a completely new and public school. Well...the four of us walked into her new school this morning (at 7:30am!!) and only three walked out. Actually...my youngest was on my shoulders and pretty sleepy/grumpy so she didn't do much walking. But we left daughter number one in a class full of strangers with a strange teacher, a strange teacher's aid, and hundreds of other strangers in the building as well.

So I came home from work early to check in with the family and get a first-hand report on the experience.

Are
you
wondering
how
it
went?

Are
you
anticipating
the
rest
of
this story??

Well...she loved it! Even the food was good...so daddy's (my) distress has been mostly resolved.
Soon I'll be taking her to her first dance and then paying for a prom dress! I'm going to need some counseling soon.

Chris

Salute to a friend

So I'm breaking the blog silence with a salute to perhaps my best friend on the planet. I think it becomes very evident where you have or haven't invested your relational capital during a time of crisis or great need. Having just passed through one of the most physically demanding weeks of my life...all my rhetoric about community has been put to the test. As it turns out...I've talked alot about community over the past year or so...but haven't really developed much of it. A great lesson has been learned...the hard way as usual.

So to my lifelong buddy (only 8 years now but it will be 58 years by the time I bust out of this clay jar)...Chappy...again I say..."Thanks!" I literally could not have made it through the past week without you. Makes me want to sing some song about Snoopy and Charlie, Batman & Robin, etc, etc :-)

A Week of Blog-lessness

Since I'll be packing up all our earthly belongings and getting the house ready to sell...I must bid a fond farewell to the blog for about a week. Stay tuned for a recap of the relocation saga sometime in September.

Blessings,

Chris

Golfing: Friend or Foe?

I got to enjoy a beautiful morning while hacking out of a few sandtraps today. In celebration of a friend's birthday, we gathered early this morning at a nice course. It was an absolutely perfect day for golf even though my game was perfectly dreadful...especially the putting. My tee shots and mid-irons were all pretty good. Chipped it close a few times, but I couldn't sink a putt for anything. It has been quite awhile since I've played a round of golf. The fellowship and weather was terrific...but I'm not going to start sneaking back out to the course anytime soon...not when I can take that 3-4 hours and ride 60 miles...for free!

I had an interesting experience/observation yesterday while reading a good book. I was at the Easton outdoor mall which is just about 10 minutes from our house. They have built a very nice quad-type area with a fountain which provides a nice park-like setting with benches right in the middle of all the restraunts and shops. As I was sitting on a bench reading some Brian McLaren...several children were squealing, jumping, and running through the fountain area. It must have some sort of random setting which causes various spouts to shoot water about six or eight feet into the air. These kids were running from side to side across the spray zone trying to outwit the water and avoid the cool refreshing eruptions.

At one point, I got totally distracted from my reading while listening to the unihibited joy being displayed for all to see by these children. A group of about ten little kids were enjoying the fountain with a group of about 50 or so individuals walking by or sitting at a nearby outdoor cafe or seated at the other benches around the square. I thought of Jesus' words when He said that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these. When was the last time I just bathed in the joy of laughter or frivolity? When did I last abandon myself to completely enjoying the company of others? of my children? of God in worship?

After a few minutes of reflection I tuned the laughter out and returned to my book...and my inhibited formal style of being. But something in me longed to throw the book down and jump in the water with those kids! I wish I had been that courageous!

Chicago Tribunal

I have this obsessive need to alliterate and play on words. We just returned from Chicago at 4:43a.m. this morning and the "tribunal" I'm referring to was actually a very laid back and congenial interview process with an exciting church in need of some youth ministry leadership. But Chicago is intense! The traffic when we were driving towards the Sears Tower around midnight Saturday evening was thicker than rush hour in Columbus on Friday mornings. And just driving around the burbs to find a spot for dinner took about 30 mintues to travel 10 miles. Crazy!

But what an exciting place to live and brush up against a myriad of cultures and peoples. Plus there was no shortage of Starbucks!

The issues which are creating confusion for us are many: distance from family, ministry vision, leadership potential, future growth opportunities...personal, career, and family..., financial considerations, school for Jess, housing options, cost of living, proximity to the Appalachian Trail (just kidding on that one). But the list could go on.

I feel intense pressure to completely tune into the voice of the heart. Where are we being tugged and nudged by the Spirit? Could you help us pray for clarity?! Thank you!

Chris

Much Brewing Over Starbucks

My brother just sent me an interesting article with some harsh criticism of Starbucks. Since I've been a Starbucks Partner (employee) for almost a couple of years now...I've had to field a lot of questions about my affiliation with the liberal purveyor of lattes. Here's a link http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=45694o the article which I think is a good call for discernment.

Without doing a great deal of research on it however...I can assure you that Starbucks does not hate children anymore than the Catholic Church hates children (which has been much more responsible for damage to children than Starbucks.) Starbucks does a great deal in the local communities as well as in the global communities to demonstrate otherwise. Just to name a few things I've been involved in personally...Starbucks collects toys for seriously (terminally) ill children around the holidays, sponsors kid-friendly events which raise money for environmental and social causes, and puts millions of dollars towards literacy campaigns for children. (Unfortunately, I'm not being paid to defend Starbucks) Although my Starbucks journey is practically over...I do take great PRIDE in the company and most of the values which they promote.

Now, having said that...I don't agree with any support which Starbucks is giving to the Gay and Lesbian agenda, Planned Parenthood, or any other groups which work against what I would hold to be biblical family values. (Why not support heterosexual and monogamous relationship oriented events which would bolster the success of marriage and family--a value held by many Starbucks customers?) But I do not consider the gay & lesbian community to be the cesspool of moral deprivation which most conservative evangelical Christians do. I have met some homosexual individuals during my journey with Starbucks who are closer to the Kingdom than many heterosexual hypocrites I've been going to church with for years! I believe the church is so full of sin that uniting against the "big" sin of homosexuality provides some kind of anesthetic arrogance which gives the deceptive sensation of enjoying God's favor and grace.

Before I get carried away any further, let me just say that if you're looking for dirt you'll find it. One problem I have with Meghan Kleppinger's article is that she (and most Christians) miss the economic injustice and social injustice which is a far greater problem in God's eyes (read the prophets). Don't think in terms of the $4,000 given to the irresponsible Coffee Corporation...but think in terms of the irresponsible Christian who has spent at least $4,000 in luxuries without being concerned about starving children or aids-infected babies or whatever?! That's the kind of Kingdom stuff Jesus might be more concerned with in this whole debate.

So yes...I will continue to purchase and consume Starbucks' beverages. Kleppinger's article and her lifestyle choice is one to be respected though. I can certainly appreciate someone who is willing to take a stand somewhere...whether or not I stand beside them.

Catalyzing Community

That's the phrase I used in a philosophy of youth ministry which I just hammered out. Ministry ought to have a significant emphasis on building authentic community and developing relationships within the body of Christ...relationships which contribute to spiritual transformation.

But then the question came at me..."What does that look like in the life of middle school student?" And I thought to myself...that's a great question!

For the past couple of years in seminary, Starbucks, and ministry (what a combination)...I've been processing all kinds of stuff which has led me to some seemingly great conclusions in my own life about community, intimacy with God, suffering, reconciliation, and more. Now comes the difficult task of translating these truths into meaningful and practical terms for students. With confidence I'll move towards that goal...but it's just not the kind of stuff that's easy to explain in one sentence or less. I want to say to people what Christ said...just come follow me...we'll learn together. I'm sure of the destination...which is the journey itself.

The Starbucks Journey Terminus

It could be that I'm taking my last lunch break from Starbucks this evening. I've said for the past few months that I couldn't see myself ever totally leaving Starbucks as an employee. My plan was to settle in somewhere new and find a nearby 'bux to just kick a shift or two per week at. But the journey might end after all. Now for the dilemma of paying full price (or paying anything for that matter) for my coffee.

A third interview is in my near future for deciding our next church home for awhile. I can do nothing but trust in the Lord with all my heart...and acknowledge God every moment...and pray that the path becomes clear to all. Please pray that we make decisions in the Spirit over the next week or so. Thank you!