The Canoe

I have to say...this stage of life is quite good! Opportunities for reflection are now a daily rather than a weekly luxury. I've spent more time with my family in the past two weeks than they would probably even prefer...but it's a blessing indeed.

Jess and I just had a great adventure in our new canoe! That's right...I finally have a boat and it's going to be a great source of fun, memories, and adventures throughout the summer. But we were out on Hoover Reservoir yesterday when a nice little T-storm blew over. The wind was gusting, rain was pouring, and eventually some lightning forced us off the water. We were greeted at the shore by a cute little water snake and I finally got the canoe strapped back onto the car while getting drenched.

I find myself now living one day at a time...and enjoying each one. Thanks to the One who shares every good and perfect gift with us!

Cinderella Man

Deb and I just went to see Russell Crowe's latest story of inspiration directed by Ron Howard (go Opie!) It stirred up some things in me as a man. I think, as men, we long for our lovers/wives to re-speak our dreams back into us. When that doesn't happen...we lose a lot of confidence in who we are as men, providers, the proverbial knights in shining armor, etc, etc.

There was a scene in the movie in which Jim Braddock's wife, Mae, decided not to support him in his boxing journey. As she emotionally withdrew in that moment, I leaned over to Deb and whispered...that's as painful to him as sexual infedelity would be to her...or you! But the emotional and mental chasm between men and women remains unbridged. I could tell Deb didn't believe my analogy.

Marriage isn't easy!

Soapbox and Suds

Regarding my previous post...the ministry of presence is certainly the 'right thing' regardless of my personal moral perspective on 'diversity.'

But I'm still hung up on the other issue. I think it's because this issue represents an area of major hypocrisy in the conservative evangelical church and holiness denominations especially. Drinking alcohol is perceived as a sinful association with the world within which we are trying to be 'in' but not 'of.' Yet how many of these (including myself) pious individuals populate the bar/restraunts throughout the week and even on the sabbath? The only reason I don't drink is because I have been religiously conditioned from an early age to believe that drinking alcoholic beverages is the choice of the morally inferior and spiritually unenlightened. I could certainly list a few other behaviors and activities which God speaks against that my fellow conservative Christians engage in regularly....envy, materialism, social injustice, overeating, gossip, workaholism, divorce, robbing God of tithe etc etc.

I just don't think it's going to continue to "fly"...projecting extra-biblical restrictions on people while ignoring many of the biblical ones for ourselves. If I can build a bridge to someone over a cold Corona or a hot Caramel Macchiato...either way, I'm going for it. And that brings up perhaps the most tragic characteristic of the modern evangelical conservative Christian...they're not even trying to build bridges! Most are content to have their own little church-world and proclaim the door is always open...but insist that people walk through that door first! That's bunk...and it's not the Church Jesus died for us to BE!

On 'Pride' and Pubs

So...as I begin to reflect a little more on daily life and figure out how to wisely invest in relationships, I find myself dealing with two big issues.

First, many of the people I would like to share some life with spend a good bit of time in the local 'pubs' of our land. That presents two practical problems for me...well, one at least. Problem #1 is the risk of reputation within my 'religious tribe.' Problem #2 has to do with my convictions regarding social drinking. If I believe it's morally fine for someone else to drink responsibly, do I really "believe" it if I don't step off my moral pedestal to join them?

The second big issue is probably a moot point for many of you, but it's potentially a fine line for me. Columbus' Gay Pride Parade is this weekend. I have several friends from Starbucks who will be representing the company and its celebration and embrace of 'diversity.' I'm drawn to the event and wish to show my friendship, support, and human solidarity to my friends. There's this little evangelical conservative part of me that speaks a different language.

I'll get back to you on these two topics...

Marvelous Monday

I'm beginning my second week of educational freedom. I'll be walking out of Starbucks in a matter of minutes. After plowing through about twenty minutes of Columbus traffic...my little Ford Focus will roll up the driveway and park for the evening. Maybe I'll mow the grass, maybe watch a movie, whatever?! Most importantly...I'll sit down to eat dinner with my family and enjoy some "tickle time" with my two beautiful daughters (and my wife...but she doesn't enjoy the tickling as much as my 5 and 2 year olds!)

But it's a wonderful feeling to have the "margins" restored to your life. As I hear friends and co-workers nearly exult in their hectic, productive, and "efficient" schedules and lifestyles...I whisper a prayer of thanksgiving to the One who has led me by still waters.

Cap & Gown Time!

In about 24 hours, I'll be able to tack a few letters to the end of my name. In 1993 I graduated from college and got the privilege to add "BA" to my name...which must have stood for Bad Attitude. I thought it would have been more appropriate to have gotten a "BS" since I "BS'ed" my way through a lot of papers! But now I get to add this little "M.Div" to my list of achievements. A buddy at Starbucks asked me yesterday, "So what are you going to do with this masters of divination?" I thought that was a humorous play on words. I wish I could "divine" a few things at the moment!

But don't worry...I don't claim any special "divinity" and I'm not going to ask anyone to call me "master." I'm not into titles right now...I'm into integrity. I'm not concerned with position...I'm more concerned about disposition. We don't make real progress in life with credentials...but with character.

But hey, if you want to see me and my educational community wearing some cool black robes and hats tomorrow...check out this link http://www.ashland.edu/seminary/alumni-grad.html

Beginning of the End

I just finished the first session of a week-long course which will just about complete my masters degree. Very exciting indeed.

In exactly 12 days I will put on that cap and gown (it's like being 18 all over again!) and celebrate the end of a wonderful but long and tedious chapter of my life.

One of the things I'm most looking forward to is reading a book without thinking about the paper or reflection I have to write on it when I'm done! And there are a stack of books I've been waiting to read without "having to" read.

"Further up and further in!"

Near-Death Experience

While studying and working on a paper for ten hours straight today...in a library that smells like stale fish for some reason...I had a near-death experience.

As I collapsed onto a table loaded with commentaries, bibles, and socio-rhetorical studies of the first century Graeco-Roman world...I saw a bright light. As I got closer and closer to the light I realized that my mind had been separated from my body and then I heard a deep voice. It was quiet at first but kept getting louder...

"Chris..."

"Chris..."

"Hey, Bean!"


Then I realized the terrible nature of my dilemma...I had fallen asleep and a buddy was bringing the ugly truth to everyone's attention by calling my name from across the room!

Two more weeks and I'm free!!
Free to sleep in....
Free to play X-box...
Free to go kayaking with my patient little princess, Jessica!

Can't wait!

A Vicious Cycle Experience

I am still recovering from my first TOSRV. That's an abbreviation for the annual cycling event which follows the Scioto river from Columbus to Portsmouth. I left Saturday morning with about 3,000 other cyclists and arrived in Portsmouth a rainy ten hours later! (the sun did shine for the middle forty miles...but the start and finish was wet and cool)

Half way into the ride I was already cramping up on Saturday, but somehow I recovered overnight and thoroughly enjoyed the return trip on Sunday. It was an interesting experience to be part of the cycling culture. There were actually some interesting lessons on community and endurance which I'll be injecting into the next few posts I'm sure.

But after 210 miles of riding in two days...my legs are still quivering and my seat is super sore!

30 Days of Purpose

Yes...I'm going to write a book once I emerge on the other side of this educational journey. For the next 30 days, my purpose is resolute! I must complete the demanding requirements of 4 graduate level classes. That is my purpose for the moment. The big, harry, audacious obstacle I'm facing is a desperate lack of motivation. I just want to play Ghost Recon on the X-box for about 8 hours straight!

May God have mercy on my pracastinating soul!

Thirsty on Thursday

You know that feeling when your throat is getting dry and pasty?? When that hangy down thing (uvula...sp?) is so dry it sticks to the sides of your throat as you swallow. Each time you attempt to work up enough saliva to moisten the parched lining of your mouth and the effort becomes slightly more painful than the last??

My soul feels that way...like I set out for a long journey without enough water. The demands of life, school, work, finances, and family can create a sense of despair. And I long for that feeling of refreshment when I reach the next source of life-sustaining spiritual water.

Why does it seem like that source is part of the time-space continuum? Shouldn't we be able to access those times of refreshing at will? God is certainly near...immanent...ever-present. But it's more than the simple utterance of a prayer at times. It's a desert journey...perhaps a dark night of the soul...a long remote and arduous stretch of trail to be traveled.

I liken it to those times that I'm on my bike...riding the fifty mile route or more. I can take two full 22oz water bottles on the bike with me. But those are usually only good for 30 miles or so. So I have to go the last 20 miles without water or take some detour which will lead me to that liquid of life. Right now I'm on that last 20 mile stretch. The reward is going to be great...the exhilaration of finishing this leg of the race will fill with a sense of accomplishment.

But I've got a few miles to go!

Saturday's Scramble

I was just replying to a friend’s blog and it sparked more than just a comment here. So I’m just going to build on my comment to his anaology and see where it goes. Basically, my buddy was LINKing a golf experience with a life experience. As he made the turn to the “back nine” of the post...this statement was made. “Isn't that how it is when we first give our lives to Christ, it gets tiring trying to figure it all out and learn all the stuff necessary to begin to get stronger in our relationships.” (to read his entire post, visit http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=gobigblue and look for Friday March 25)

Well...I agree with his comments except I think the first sentence in the second paragraph ought to read more like..."Isn't that how it is after you've been living for Christ for ten or twenty years??!!" Let’s jump back to the golf setting again for a moment.

You'd think after playing golf for ten years...I'd be shooting par or better. Not so! But to adequately apply the analog... I think that you have to consider most Christians put about as much effort into earning their spiritual tour card (becoming a mature disciple) as I do in preparing for "Q-School!" We go to church on the weekends (or less) and consider our church attendance to be the sum total of our spiritual fitness regime. Now if I played golf everyday and focused on training, fundamentals, and every aspect of the game...maybe I'd have a chance of teeing it up with the big guys.

So what are the fundamentals of the spiritual life? What is the equivalent of hitting the range when pursuing holiness? And what kind of "game" could we play/live if we got a serious GRIP on the God-following life? I want to be sure to indicate here that attending church and being a warm body in the over-programmed agenda of what is being passed off as "church" is not synonymous at all with what I think of as the "God-following life."

But a little closer to home for me right now is this question...why do we flirt with the "hazards" so much. I have trouble playing it smart on the course and laying up when I can set up a great second shot. And those times when you're buried in life's bunker and can't see out of the "pot" it's easy to keep whacking the ball into the lip and end up right back where you started. Sometimes we need a free drop, eh? That's grace!

Simmering Sunday

Yeah...you could say I'm simmering. Not boiling. Not chilling. Simmering.

Simmering is good I think. Processing life with just enough heat applied to bring out the flavor and aroma. As I spend some time with my various weblogationships, I am encouraged and inspired. I see and sense so many journeying towards the same thing...the truth, the divine, the significant, the soul, a centered life.

I believe that God is revealing these things to us in unique ways and strange places. There is a great stirring of life which is simmering under the surface of the institutionalized, anesthetized, traumatized, and spiritualized.

Hope...

Rest...

Peace...

Compassion...

Community...

Love...for self...for neighbor...for God...

Check out this link for an interesting piece by the creator of Veggie Tales. It's a fairly accurate discussion of some culture shift over the past decade or so. Give yourself about ten minutes to read it in full...or just download it and read it later! http://www.yale.edu/faith/downloads/thl_vischer.pdf

A Manic Monday

Sounds like a song from my adolescence...which I am fortunately trapped in!

I'm stumbling across so many things that I want to read, investigate, and respond to. Unfortunately, I have two final exams, a twelve-page paper, a five-page paper, and a couple hundred pages to read...for Wednesday!

So check back in next week!

Shalom...peace out...blessings...ta ta...and later alligator,

Chris

check this article out at www.msnbc.com

Wednesday’s Wisdom

Perhaps it would be wise for us to remove the Ten Commandments and other Christian or religious symbols from government and public properties?! I was just reading a front (web) page “article” on www.msnbc.com regarding all the Supreme Court discussions of cases like the one in Texas, Kentucky, and other states being battled out in our courtrooms.

The article cites a poll statistic revealing that 76% of Americans agree with the displays. I wonder what would happen if 76% of Americans would LIVE by them?!

Also fresh on my mind is a somewhat humorous response I sent to my Dad who pastors a small rural congregation in Indiana. He jokingly suggested that he knew of a church I might fit into if we decided to move to that area. I almost laughed out loud because I’m convinced that there are very few churches that I fit into in my current frame of mind, politics, and spirituality. As I was sharing with my Dad why I feel this is the case...I pushed the envelope a bit and suggested to him that the best thing that could happen to the church in America is the removal of our freedom of worship. That would certainly clear up some issues on church and state wouldn’t it?!

I believe that if the true religion of America (secular humanism) was honestly acknowledged, Christianity might be rediscovered in ways which would radically transform the way that we engage our world on a daily basis.

A Tumultuous Tuesday

I suppose "tumult" might be a bit of an exaggeration. I am not experiencing "violent or overwhelming turbulence or upheaval." (Merriam-Webster) I don't know why I'm quoting the dictionary today...as if you don't know the meaning of tumult! I kind of get tired of hearing Webster quoted...especially on Sunday mornings! (just a little pet peeve I guess)

Tuesday's are always somewhat tumultuous for me though. It's the day before my LONG day of classes up at Ashland. For those of you in school...I know you feel my pain and identify with me all too well. But halle-flippin-lujah! I have only twelve weeks of school remaining and my masters degree is finished. In the word/s of Christ...teleostai...it is finished (or will be soon).

But that reminds me of a deeper tumult to be reflecting on today. I am still trying to keep the season of Lent and an attitude of reflection and repentance in the front lobe of my mind. Even as I was reading something today during a quiet time at Starbucks, I was reminded of Christ's suffering for us. I was also reminded by the likes of St. John of the Cross and Henri Nouwen that we all at times experience seasons of suffering. Whether you call it the "dark night of the soul," the "ministry of absence," or just a personal desert...be encouraged that Christ is near...even in the darkness...He knows all about pain and suffering.

Even when life is good (so to speak) I am so encouraged to know God is near at all times...because we're all just a blink away from the "dark night..."

A Sabbath of Sunday's Sundries

What are we doing with the concept of Sabbath? I remember being raised with a certain respectful conditioning towards the Sabbath. There were always particular things which just weren't appropriate for the sabbath (working, shopping, certain recreational activities, etc). In fact, I still feel a significant amount of guilt if I play a round of golf on Sunday. Last year I mowed my lawn one time on a Sunday because I knew it might be a couple of weeks before I could get to it again...more guilt!

Now I'm beginning to think that "sabbath" should be a more dynamic concept that we apply to our lives rather than a strict application to one day of the week. Certainly our culture has lost most of its respect for the sabbath as an off-limits day for activity. As a youth pastor, I witnessed the gradual use of Sunday for sporting events, school programs, practices and many other urgent activities. And from a commercial standpoint, although there are many retail stores and businesses which have shortened their hours on Sundays, I don't think it has anything to do with a faith-based conviction. It probably has more to do with marketing and sales trends.

But the great tragedy of losing an understanding of the Sabbath is the toll taken on individuals and families from an emotional and physical standpoint as well as a spiritual impact. As I serve lattes and Latin grown coffees on Monday morning, I observe that people are typically as worn out from their weekends as they are from their work weeks. The concept of sabbath is a primarily biblical, yet quite practical mandate for rest and health. I would link this to our need for pursuing simplicity as well. It will be very difficult to apply the concept of sabbath (whether it's a Sunday or Thursday or whenever) until we trim and truncate our obese schedules.

Saturday’s Soliloquy

Soliloqy:
1 : the act of talking to oneself
2 : a dramatic monologue that gives the illusion of being a series of unspoken reflections

These definitions fit my blog purpose perfectly today.

I rose quite early today (5:00 a.m.) with several hours before my first scheduled moment. So I showered and made myself presentable before taking a seat in my magic wardrobe. It feels like that sometimes...like I’m pushing past the coats and closet clutter towards a magic wood...like Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia. And somedays I walk in only to encounter walls, limits, and unimaginative moments. Other times I push through and find myself walking into a different place...a place of mystery, majesty, and more!

That’s what happened today...and I sat in the early morning silence. Centering my thoughts on Christ.

I am eager for the sound of crickets again...eager for the landscape to be resurrected by the Spirit of Spring. I want to get on my bike and ride fifty miles with the wind on my face and the sun on my back. I want to roll on the soft grassy earth with my two little girls. I’m ready to venture back across the lake with Jess in search of the blue herons. Just a few more weary days and then...