That's a bit what I'm feeling right now. As I break away from some old patterns of relating to God and try to re-learn some things about being a disciple...I can't help but feel like I've been spinning my wheels much of the past ten years. In my times of studying Scripture and looking over some old journal-type things I realize that I'm struggling with many of the same things as I did years ago. Like trusting God...and being able to hear His voice...giving Him ultimatums as I try to determine what He's leading me to do...etc.
It's quite sad to realize that my relationship with God has been very functional and utilitarian over the years. I've been missing the passion of that love relationship God desires from His little yard apes! John 8:47..."the reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God." Ouch!
But now it's difficult to reprioritize the relationship without the lingering sense of...hurry up and connect so I know what to do! I need to find that daily place of "quiet waters" and sanctuary.
1 comment:
ouch!
seems that we should continue seeking, asking, and defining.
good to know it continues with you.
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